Twelve Steps
by KatyNewt
Summary: As Hal's detox continues, Alex has an idea that she thinks might help his recovery. Sure, the twelve step plan wasn't designed for blood addicts, but anything's worth a shot isn't it? Alex/Tom/Hal
1. Prologue - Withdrawal

**Disclaimer: I don't own Being Human, and I don't wish I did because it wouldn't be anywhere near as good as it is, and it would get cancelled when I made sure Damien Molony was in every scene!**

I was going to take a break from writing after finishing Know Your Enemy, and wasn't going to even think about starting anything new until Series 5 was over. Well that lasted all of five days! This is actually one that I started months ago but never got round to finishing, but as it fits neatly into the gap between Series' 4 and 5, I thought it was the perfect thing for me to write while the programme was on.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and please review to let me know what you think! x

**Spoilers**: Series 4, and potentially from Series 5 as the programme airs.

**Warnings**: Bad language, adult themes every now and then.

**Prologue - Withdrawal**

Tom stared at the ceiling and sighed. This was the third night in a row that he had been woken by Hal's screams. The first time it had happened he'd run downstairs thinking he could help, that he could do something to help. All he had done was anger him more and his cries of pain had turned to threats and vile language Tom had never even imagined Hal was capable of. Last night he had hesitated, not knowing whether to go or not, but eventually he had, and again he had made Hal worse. This time he was ready to stay in bed, to ignore the screams as best he could and to leave his friend be. Hal would just have to sit it out on his own.

The last few days had been terrible. Tom's wounds were still healing from his fight with Milo, but that was nothing compared to the loss of Annie and little Eve. He felt fresh tears start to build behind his eyelids and angrily scrubbed them away with the back of his hand. He had been almost grateful for the distraction of looking after Hal, and of the company Alex had brought. He hardly knew her, but at least there was someone there with him. Someone to share the responsibility. She seemed nice, not at all like Annie, but nice.

"Tom! Tom!" The werewolf sighed as he heard Hal shouting for him. He sat up. This was different. He threw the covers off and stood up, rubbing his eyes again just in case he looked liked he'd been crying.

In the living room, Hal was panting hard, shaking and groaning in pain. His teeth chattered loudly. The vampire had warned him briefly what would happen to him while he went through detox, but Tom hadn't been prepared for this in the slightest. Hal had been violently ill for two days now, not able to keep anything down, not even water, and he was dehydrated and weak. He had finally stopped being sick, but Tom wasn't sure whether that was because the withdrawal was getting better or because he had nothing left in his stomach to bring up.

"What's up mate?" he asked warily. Hal seemed not to have noticed him come in, and looked up relieved.

"Tom. I need... a drink... please." Hal said quietly through gritted teeth. Tom went to the kitchen and fetched a glass, returning and holding it to the vampire's lips so he could drink. He drank the whole glass, and it took three more before his thirst was sated. Well this particular thirst anyway.

"Thank you. Thank you Tom." He repeated over and over, taking advantage of this lucid moment to apologise for his behaviour over the last few days.

"That's alright mate, we're going to get you through this." Tom said reassuringly, trying to sound confident.

"Well then why don't you fucking let me out hound! I need blood! I'll fucking tear this shit hole apart if I have to!" he shouted, straining at his restraints and growling like a caged animal. Tom sighed again.

"Night mate. Try and get some sleep." He left the livid vampire still shouting insults, and climbed the stairs back towards his room. He stopped at his door and frowned, hearing a strange noise coming from the bathroom. As he opened the door and peered in, he found Alex sat on the floor hugging her knees. She hurriedly wiped her eyes, trying and failing to conceal that she had been crying. She smiled at him sadly as he came to sit beside her.

"Sorry." She said simply. "You've got enough to deal with without me making things worse."

"Don't be silly. This week hasn't been easy for any of us. We need to stick together." He said putting his arm around her shoulder and giving her a squeeze. He felt almost selfish, needing the contact as much as she seemed to. They sat together in silence for a while before going their separate ways, Tom to his bedroom and Alex back downstairs to deal with a now thankfully silent Hal.

So once again, Tom found himself staring at the ceiling unable to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw them, Annie, Eve, McNair, Allison, Cutler, Mr Snow, Milo. He couldn't stop thinking about them. Eventually he managed to sleep, and didn't wake until mid morning, when Hal began his next torrent of insults from the living room. He heard Alex shout and something smash, and decided it was time to take over from the ghost, feeling guilty for leaving her with him for so long.

Downstairs, Alex was sat with her head in her hands on the sofa. A china mug lay smashed at the bottom of the wall next to the window, and Hal had fallen silent again, perhaps sensing for once that he'd gone too far. Tom gave her shoulder a squeeze and told her to get some rest. She obliged without a word, rising and walking towards the door.

"I'm sorry Alex." Hal said quietly.

"You always are." She mumbled gloomily, walking up the stairs as if she'd forgotten she could rentaghost.

"What did you say to her?" Tom asked as he picked up the shards of smashed china from the floor.

"That her family are better off without her." Hal answered sadly. Tom stared at him for a moment, then turned away as he noticed the tears on his friend's cheeks. Hal had lost a lot of his dignity recently, and it felt wrong to take this away too. He waited in the kitchen for a few minutes, giving the vampire time to collect himself.

He entered the living room ready for abuse. Hal's outbursts were usually followed by a short period of guilt and remorse, then more insults and fits of rage. Today was no different. Tom went about preparing his breakfast, tidying the living room and bringing Hal drinks, ignoring his friend as best he could until his next short period of apologies.

And so the days went on the same, a cycle of abuse and remorse, burning rage and heart-felt apologies that lasted another week. He struggled until his wrists were raw, screamed until his voice was hoarse, and shook until he passed out with the exertion.

And so followed four days of silence. Tom and Alex were relieved at first. But on the second day they began to worry. Hal had slept for twenty hours straight, and when he had woken, he had been disorientated and confused. And then the sweats and shivering began again. They forced him to drink water when they could, and tried to get him to talk to them, but his silent stupor continued.

Finally, two weeks after they had first strapped him into the chair, and four days since he had last been fully conscience, Hal woke up. He was groggy at first, asking only for water.

"How long have I been here?" he asked weakly.

"Two weeks." Alex answered warily, looking as though she expected him to shout abuse again at any second. Tom couldn't blame her. He wasn't exactly sure what to expect himself.

"That's less than I thought. I usually don't get to this stage for a good four. But then I suppose I only drank two..." he fell silent, shaking for a minute, trying to gain control of himself again after his accidental mention of blood. He took some deep breaths. "Well you get the idea." He finished simply. Tom and Alex looked at each other and smiled. Hal was finally getting better.


	2. Step One: Admit You Are Powerless

******Disclaimer: I don't own Being Human, and I don't wish I did because it wouldn't be anywhere near as good as it is, and it would get cancelled when I made sure Damien Molony was in every scene!**

**Spoilers**: Series 4, and potentially from Series 5 as the programme airs.

**Warnings**: Bad language, adult themes every now and then.

**Step One: Admit You Are Powerless**

"Here you go." Alex put the tea on the small table next to Hal's chair, remembering the straw so that he could actually drink it this time. He might be getting better, but he still had an awful temper sometimes, and her forgetting the straw yesterday had been enough to push him over the edge. The eyes had gone black, the fangs had unsheathed and suddenly he'd been transformed into the snarling, hissing mess he had been at the start of his detox. Usually Tom managed to calm him down relatively quickly, but as he had been at work, Alex had just had to put up with it. Luckily, his tantrums, as she liked to call them, didn't last long now.

When he had come back to his senses he had been full of apologies of course, but it had put Alex in a bad mood for the rest of the day and they'd irritated each other until Tom got home and took over babysitting duties. The day before that the same had happened, except that time, he had sat dejected and quiet for the whole afternoon while she sulked and stomped around him. His reaction had only made her feel guilty, and that in turn made her angrier. It wasn't fair that he could vent and she couldn't. She had told him so, hoping it might help, but being irate with him when he was so miserable was like kicking a puppy.

"Thanks." Hal mumbled distractedly, caught up in whatever novel he was reading today. Now that he was back to his senses, much of the time at least, one of the problems they'd had was keeping him entertained. Daytime TV had been a complete disaster. Alex never wanted a repeat of what had happened when she'd put "Jeremy Kyle" on one morning – just the mention of a DNA test would forever be enough to give her the shivers now – so she had quickly knocked that idea on the head.

Next they had tried music, which had worked for a while, until Alex couldn't take any more and they had had to banish Radio 4 and all of Hal's classical music collection, apart from for two hours every evening. The only other thing he wanted to do was read, but this was tricky to say the least with his hands tied. After trying to read "The Great Gatsby" to him one afternoon, she had ended up throwing the heavy-bound volume at him after he had called her an idiot for not being able to pronounce some of the longer words first time around. He had apologised as always, but it had been her idea of hell on earth anyway, so they had left it at that.

During this time, between looking after Hal, getting to know Tom and coming to terms with being a ghost, Alex had visited her home in Scotland to see her family again and check how they were coping. Somehow her body had been returned to them and they had had a funeral for her, though the investigation into her death was still ongoing. She didn't really care about that. After all Cutler, the weasely little shite, had got his gruesome, fiery comeuppance right there on the carpet infront of her. Justice served as far as she was concerned. She had been going through her stuff to see if there was anything she wanted back at Honolulu Heights when she had come across her mother's old e-book reader. It was full of romantic novels and fantasy epics, but she thought it might just be a solution to the problem of the bored, disgruntled vampire in the living room.

They had put it on an old music stand from the attic, and he pushed the button to turn the page with a chopstick held between his teeth. Alex had thought he would complain about it being undignified, but with just the hint of a blush on his pale cheeks, he had reminded her that for the past few weeks they had seen him at his absolute worst, and that dignity wasn't exactly his most pressing worry.

So here they sat, Alex perched on one of the bar stools with Annie's old laptop, and Hal reading "Jayne Eyre" for the umpteenth time that week.

"I still can't believe you like that story." She ventured, wondering if he was in a chatty mood.

"I don't have much choice. I told you, there are fourteen books on this device and four I refuse point blank to even contemplate reading, you know the ones I mean." He mumbled, holding the chopstick deftly between his teeth. How could she forget after the forty minute rant she had had to sit through about the "Twilight Saga". Needless to say, he wasn't a fan.

"I could download some more for you if you'd like?" she offered, surprised at how tolerant he seemed of her attempt at conversation.

"Could you? That would be nice, thank you." He said, glancing up at her. "I don't deserve it." He looked down at his lap sadly. She sighed and put the laptop aside.

"Don't be silly. Things haven't been that bad." she lied. "Besides, I can't take you seriously with that in your mouth." She smiled at his questioning look, before he remembered the chopstick hanging from his mouth and dropped it into his lap, licking his lips nervously. She'd noticed he did that when he was feeling particularly vulnerable or awkward.

"How can you be so kind?" he asked incredulously. "Let's face it, you died because of me. I'm sorry to be so forthright, but it's the truth, and I can't bear to have it hanging over us any longer. It's all my fault." She looked at him blankly for a moment.

"What do you want me to say Hal, that I'm fine and it's all just history?"

"No, of course not..."

"Or would you prefer me to tell you I hate you? Because the truth is I don't. I actually wish I did, because that might be easier, but I don't. You didn't kill me, and you were a different person when you killed Cutler's wife or whatever you did to piss him off. And every time you're not being a fucking arse hole, you're so bloody apologetic and well... pathetic, how can I hate you? But you sitting there looking sorry for yourself when I'm the one who died is really starting to get on my nerves! I'm angry at you, and I might be for a very long time, but I don't hate you. I don't even really blame you." She finished quietly, expecting the usual torrent of abuse and furious retorts to spill from him following her own outburst. But all that followed for a few minutes was silence. She wondered if she'd made him so angry he couldn't speak. Experience told her that was extremely unlikely.

"The past few weeks must have been hard for you and Tom. I'm sorry that I've been such a burden to you both, and a largely ungrateful one at that." He began carefully. She stared bewilderedly at him, caught off guard by his openness. "However you feel about all of this when you do eventually come to terms with it, I will always carry this guilt with me, whether you can forgive me or not. I'm sorry for that and I'm sorry for this. Being looked after by you both is... degrading," he swallowed the emotion in his voice, stumbling over the word, "and I'm shattered, mentally and physically. But it can't be as bad as being on the receiving end. I don't remember most of what I say when I'm... well when **he** takes over, but I know that it's appalling, and neither of you deserve it. Not in the slightest. He's angry because you're winning. You're helping me to win. And you'll never know how grateful I am to you both for that."

He was right about it being hard. Alex had got on with it, using him as a distraction from her situation, and though she had been strong so far, hearing someone else acknowledge it, especially him, brought it all home. She felt a lump form in her throat and looked away from him as a tear slid slowly down her cheek. He really was a good man, and a very remorseful one at the moment. She knew that seeing her cry would hurt him a great deal, so she resolved not to let him. She did the only thing she could think to do. She swallowed the lump down as best she could and cleared her throat.

"It's alright." She said simply. He gave her a sad smile, relief seeming to roll off of him in waves at her simple acceptance of his apology. She hadn't realised that the air needed clearing between them, but it felt as though a great weight had been lifted. She ignored the fact that his eyes were wet with unshed tears, knowing that dwelling on them would almost certainly set her off again. He looked so fragile, slumped in the chair not even held by the restraints, just accepting of his situation, and utterly heartbroken. A battered, dejected mess of sweat soaked hair, pasty skin and exhausted eyes. He needed her, and she needed to be needed, and that was enough, for now at least.

"So," she began, changing the subject, "I found something on the internet. You know, information highway? It lets you share data between..."

"Yes, I know what the internet is Alex." He assured her patiently.

And just like that they were back to normal. She smiled in-spite of herself, glad to be back in their comfortable pattern of friendly banter which was becoming more and more common these days.

"Good, right, well. I found this thing called the twelve steps. The AA use it. Not the breakdown service, obviously, the alcoholics anonymous people. Anyway, it says there's twelve steps to a successful rehabilitation. I thought... maybe... it might help." Her eyes fell slowly downwards towards the end as she lost confidence in herself after seeing his expression. The last thing she wanted to do was make him angry.

"I can't really see it helping..." he stopped himself, knowing he should at least listen to her. She deserved that much at least, and neither of them knew when his present lucidity would yield to the monster again. "What's the first step?" he sighed defeatedly. He had to admit, the smile she gave him was worth the tedium of indulging her.

"Alright let me look... Step One," she read from the laptop screen, "you have to admit that you're powerless to your addiction."

"I think we've already established that."

"Yes but you have to say it out loud or it doesn't mean anything."

"Alex I..."

"Say it."

"Is this really necessa..."

"Say it!"

"Alright, fine. Hi, my name is Hal, I'm a bloodaholic, and I am powerless to my addiction. There, if you want a bloody AA meeting, how's that?"

"Don't get all irate, you know what happens if you work yourself up."

"Sorry, yes, you're right." He apologised, taking a few breaths to calm himself. She smiled at him again, his control holding firm. It was a nice surprise. She looked casually at the clock on the wall. He had been like this for a good three hours now, which meant if the last few days were anything to go by, he wasn't far from another outburst.

"So you'll give it a go then?" she asked hopefully.

"I'll... I'll hear the rest of them and then I'll decide." He answered as tactfully as he could.

"Great! We'll have you back on the wagon in no time. Do you need anything by the way? Water, tea, painkillers? Maybe even some food..." she stopped mid flow, eyes darting to the window as a car alarm went off in the street. Hal started to shake. His hands balled into fists and he strained against the bindings at his wrists. He closed his eyes and clamped his teeth together, his calm state forgotten in a matter of moments. She knew the signs. The vampire had turned volatile again.

"Wonderful." She sighed.

"Fucking thing!" he shouted, blackened eyes snapping open, spittle flying everywhere, chair rattling as he shook lividly. "I will tear the owner of that automobile to shreds, I will snap their neck like a pencil and drink them dry, I will..."

"Right well, as entertaining as this is, I'll be upstairs." Alex said dryly, swinging her legs from the bar stool and standing with the laptop, rentaghosting to her room. Downstairs the tirade continued, though muffled now through the ceiling.

"...infernal contraption shall rue the day... going to fucking wipe technology from this earth... humanity and their vexatious alarm systems can eat shit and die..!"

"Oh well. At least we got through step one." The ghost sighed. "This could take a while."


	3. Step Two: Restore Us To Sanity

******Disclaimer: I don't own Being Human, and I don't wish I did because it wouldn't be anywhere near as good as it is, and it would get cancelled when I made sure Damien Molony was in every scene!**

**Spoilers**: Series 4

**Warnings**: Bad language, adult themes every now and then.

**Step Two: Restore Us To Sanity**

"Hal? Hal! Please, what's wrong? You were fine yesterday, I don't understand." Alex crouched infront of the barely conscious vampire, staring up at him worriedly.

"Just... another part of... the withdrawal... process. Perfectly... normal." He rasped out between ragged breaths and chattering teeth. He looked shattered, with his head lolling onto his chest and his eyes closed. She wondered if it was exhaustion kicking in, if perhaps they should have strapped him to his bed instead of a chair. She flushed at the thought and mentally slapped herself for it.

"Right, I'm off. Call me if he gets any worse." Tom called as he stomped down the stairs and grabbed his keys from the bowl on the bar.

"What, you're still going? You're leaving me here with him like this?" she asked the werewolf incredulously.

"I don't have much choice Alex, someone's got to keep bringing in money round here, and I've already been told off for taking too many sick days recently. Besides, he was like this last night too. He said it would happen, and it'll wear off soon. Don't worry. I'll see you tonight, yea."

She opened her mouth to reply but couldn't think of anything to say. The door shut behind him, and the moment had passed.

"Shit."

"Don't... swear. It's not... becoming of... a young lady." Hal gasped out quietly behind her.

"**You** can't tell **me** off for swearing, considering some of the words that have come out of your mouth lately."

"I'm not... a young... lady."

"I suppose not." She muttered. Sighing, she sat on the arm of the sofa next to him. "You are with me then? You can understand?"

"I'm not a... bloody... simpleton."

"And are you... you know... good?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Define... good."

"Not telling me to fuck off every five seconds. Not telling me you wish my door would come so you don't have to deal with me anymore. Not telling me, in great detail might I add, what you would have done to me if I hadn't walked out on our second date."

"Have I... really said those... things to you? I'm sorry... And I'm... glad I... didn't get the chance... to hurt you... that night."

"Oh, you didn't say you were going to hurt me. Believe me, that would have been easier to hear. And far less embarrassing."

"What did I... say then?"

"You know, for someone so intelligent, you can be really thick sometimes." She shook her head and sighed again. "Something about shagging me against a wall. And a sofa. And a garden gate, which was a little odd. I left the room as soon as I managed to pick my jaw up off the floor. Tom told you off. He sounded strangely motherly. Was a bit of a weird evening after that."

"Oh..."

"Yea, oh."

"Again, I... apologise... most profusely."

"It's alright, I've heard worse."

"Alex?"

"Yea?"

"Is there... a woman... standing by the... kitchen door?"

She turned to check, just incase.

"No Hal, there is not a woman standing by the kitchen door. Why? Please don't tell me you're off again."

"Are you... sure?"

"Yes sugar."

"Oh. Then I think... I probably... am." She watched as his eyes seemed to follow something slowly across the room. When they widened with recognition, she caught the anxiety in them immediately. "No... please not you... I can't look... at you." His bottom lip trembled and he looked away.

"Hal, what is it? What can you see?"

"Eleanor... her name... was Eleanor. I... killed her. I didn't... mean to. I... swear, I didn't. Please... stop." His voice broke and Alex couldn't sit still any longer. His quiet pleading with the hallucination, and the tear that slid down his pallid cheek stirred her into action. Rising from the sofa, she rentaghosted upstairs to fetch a wet flannel from the bathroom. She knelt infront of him again and gently wiped his sweat-dampened forehead.

"She's not really here sweetie. It's alright." The action took her back to days and nights spent looking after her little brothers when they'd been ill, and it was a strange comfort to know that somebody still needed her like that.

"She is... to me." He wept pitifully.

"I know pet, but it'll pass. There's nothing to be scared of." She encouraged, wiping his cheeks tenderly.

"It's not... that. It's... the guilt Alex. It... hurts."

She was well aware of his rules on physical contact, but she couldn't care less in that moment. She pushed herself up to sit on his knee and wrapped her arms around his neck, cradling him as she would have any one of her brothers if they were in the same state. In her heart she knew she was half doing it for herself, needing to do something so she didn't feel so helpless, but it didn't seem to matter right then. She was surprised when he inclined his head towards her, leaning into her as best he could with the straps tight across his chest. It seemed that everyone needed comforting sometimes, even five-hundred year old vampires who didn't like being touched. She stroked his hair and held him until his sobs subsided and his breathing calmed. Wiping his cheeks one last time, she kissed the top of his head before returning to the arm of the sofa again, giving him a chance to collect himself.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it pet. It can't be nice seeing people from your past."

"No, it isn't." he answered sadly.

"Why don't I try to distract you for a bit? Are you feeling up it?"

"Depends on what you have in mind. I'm not sure how long it'll be until I'm hallucinating again."

"Then we'd best get cracking. Fancy seeing what step two of twelve is?" She walked over to the bar and opened the laptop. With a few clicks, she reached the page she needed, and positioned herself on one of the bar stools to read. "Uh... admit you're powerless, blah blah blah... here it is, "believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity". Sanity? Well that's ironic, given what's going on with you today."

"You know what that means."

"What?"

"You're the Power greater than myself, for today at least." He smiled weakly at her.

"I'm pretty sure it's talking about God Hal."

"Yes, I know, but in this instance, you helped to _restore me to sanity_ so, technically..."

"I'm like God to you?" she grinned wryly at him.

"I wouldn't quite go that far, but you were a great help."

"You liked it then? Having a cuddle." She winked at him saucily before she could stop herself, then wished she could take it back. Luckily, he seemed to notice her discomfort and smiled at her.

"Actually, yes. A bit. I used to hate people touching me, even Leo and Pearl sometimes. It feels different now. Maybe I've changed. And it was a great comfort. Not that I'd want to make a habit of it, if I ever do get out of this chair."

"Well, glad to be of service. And I wasn't doing it all for you. I think I needed a hug too. Seeing you upset, it reminds me of my brothers when they were little. They're messy sods, but I miss them. Quite a lot actually." She looked down at her hands and twirled her rings as a distraction from the memory.

"Tom's very tactile. I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving you a hug every once in a while. He might put on a brave face, but he needs looking after sometimes. Annie was like a substitute mother to him. He must be missing her a lot."

"I'll bear that in mind."

"Just please don't let Tom know I let you... you know... hold me." He finished awkwardly.

"Don't worry sugar, my lips are sealed. Until I need to use it as leverage against you anyway." She smirked at him.

The rest of the day passed much the same. By the time Alex heard Tom's keys in the door, she had had to comfort Hal four more times as his hallucinations got the better of him. The worst had been when he had seen Leo. Of course, she could only hear one side of the imagined conversation, but not even her presence on his lap had been enough to calm him. It was clear that in Hal's tortured mind, the old werewolf had been greatly disappointed in his friend, and that it had hurt the vampire deeply.

"Shhh Hal, don't listen. Focus on me, just look at me. Listen to what I'm saying. He's not really here and if he was he'd be proud of you." She rested her forehead against his and stroked his cheeks as his tears continued to fall, and eventually, he had begun to calm down. She stayed where she was on his lap for a while after that, and he hadn't asked her to move away. She rested her head against his and stroked his hair distractedly while he told her about Leo, and Pearl, and Southend, reminiscing about the good times they had had living together.

"I think that might have been the last one." He mumbled tiredly, as she rubbed her thumbs over his scalp in little circular patterns. "From memory, it usually ends with someone I love. Those are the ones that hurt the most."

"Shh, get some rest. You're exhausted." She mumbled against his ear.

It hadn't taken long for him to fall asleep after that. By the time Tom came in from work she had long extricated herself from the one-sided embrace and was washing up in the kitchen, trying to keep herself busy. She heard the front door open and rentaghosted into the hallway to meet him.

"Hal's asleep. It's best if we don't wake him, he's had a difficult afternoon." She whispered to the werewolf. He nodded understandingly and followed her through to the kitchen.

"Was he much trouble?" he asked, leaning against the wall by the double doors and peering through the serving hatch at the sleeping vampire.

"None at all." She answered truthfully. Although it had been painful to watch, in a way it had been nice to see his vulnerable side. It had been a relief to see that he really was human underneath the temper, and the sarcasm, and the hunger. And it had been nice to be wanted. She remembered what Hal had said about Tom earlier in the day. "How are you coping?" she asked him, catching him off-guard.

"Oh, you know. It's not easy, but at least he's getting better. That's all that matters."

She smiled sadly at him. Hal was right. He was putting on a brave face. The constant worry was evident in his wide, youthful eyes. She smiled in spite of herself and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight squeeze.

"We're in this together." She said simply. She felt him smile into her shoulder and he hugged her back.

"Yea, we are aren't we? Like a proper family again."

"A proper, complicated, surreal, totally bonkers supernatural family." She chuckled, releasing him and going back over to the sink to finish the washing up.

She wondered if it wasn't just Hal that needed restoring back to sanity. Having a purpose was certainly helping her to feel more grounded, more at home in her new life, and Tom was slowly growing up. Hard as the detox process was, she could see the positives in it now for all of them. And it felt good to belong again.


	4. Step Three: Turn Our Will

******Disclaimer: I don't own Being Human, and I don't wish I did because it wouldn't be anywhere near as good as it is, and it would get cancelled when I made sure Damien Molony was in every scene!**

(As I have directly quoted one of the steps here, I feel it's only right to cite the material, so here is a link to the specific Alcohol Anonymous page .uk/?pageid=56 I have been using. Sorry, university essay writing hasn't quite been forgotten! If you're enjoying this so far then perhaps it will give you some clues as to what is coming...

Thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and favourited so far, specifically ShoePigeon, tangentially TJ, Saemay, whimsyfox, fifi2903 and spondoolix. There may well be an update every day (well 24 hours or so anyway, my days are a bit stretched out at the moment!) as I want to get this one out of the way with the imminant arrival of Series 5. Have I mentioned I'm quite excited about that by the way?

Enjoy! x

**Spoilers**: Series 4

**Warnings**: Bad language, adult themes every now and then.

**Step Three: Turn Our Will And Our Lives Over**

"Come on, please. You're wasting away, you need to eat something. Just a bit of toast or something."

"Alex, I told you an hour ago, I don't want anything, thank you."

"Hal, you need to eat. Oh... you do don't you? I mean, I know you're technically dead and all..."

"Alex, stop wittering please."

"Well I'm sorry, but I skipped all my vampire biology classes in school 'cos I thought I'd never need them."

"I am perfectly capable of telling you whether I want food or not."

"Look, just please, what about a dry cracker? Or a banana or something?"

"Alex, go away." She stared at him indignantly but didn't move. "And stop looking at me like that."

"If you don't eat something, I'll hug you again."

"Alex..."

"I'm not joking Hal, I will. I'll do it."

"You're bluffing."

"I'm not the one who hates any form of physical contact." She challenged. "Well, maybe not **any** kind of contact, but I am certainly not testing that theory..."

"Do you have to bring the conversation down to vulgarity every time we speak?"

"Oh, so we are having a conversation then? Because I thought you were just disagreeing with everything I say for the fun of it."

"Yes, because my sole purpose in life is to annoy you." He answered sarcastically.

"That thought had crossed my mind. Arrg! You are such a control freak, you just have to be in the driving seat all the time don't you!?"

"As opposed to your dictatorship of toast and dry crackers?"

"Right, that's it, you're definitely getting a hug."

"I am not."

"Are too."

"Don't! I'll call for Tom!"

"Tom will back me up. And even if he doesn't, how is he going to stop me?"

"Alex! I am warning you..."

"Warn away." The ghost stepped slowly closer to him, drawing out the threat for as long as she could. "All you have to do to stop me is agree to the toast. It's not difficult, is it Hal?"

"This is about more than toast, it's the principle..."

"Principle! Hal, do me a favour, just say yes so I can get on with my morning."

"No. I won't."

"Well then, I'll take that as a sign you want that hug then."

"Fine."

"Now **you're** bluffing."

"Just turning the tables."

"Hal, be serious. Which one of us do you think is going to give in first? I'll give you a moment to work through that in your head before I test the theory."

"... I suppose one piece of toast can't hurt."

"There's a good boy." Alex smiled smugly and disappeared into the kitchen.

A few minutes later she returned carrying a plate laden with buttered toast, crackers and fruit. Hal sighed. The ghost just couldn't take a hint. She held a piece of the toast up for him to eat.

"Hal..." she warned when he looked at it disapprovingly. He let out a quiet groan before taking a bite. It tasted awful, just as he had expected, the glorious memory of blood still fresh on his taste buds, but it did feel nice to have some proper food in his stomach again. As he kept eating, Alex's triumphant smile grew. After the second slice, he sat back and she lowered the plate.

"Had enough?"

"It's best if I start slowly."

"Well, thanks for trying anyway."

"Please don't do that."

"What?"

"If there's any thanking to be done it ought to be me expressing my gratitude to you and Tom."

"You don't need to..."

"I do though. I don't know what I'd have done without you both. Well I do, but I don't want to think about it. I don't deserve you." Alex smiled at him and sat on the arm of the sofa next to him.

"You know why I like hearing you say that?"

"Because it makes a change from the abuse?"

"Well apart from that. It means you're getting better. You haven't had a tantrum..."

"I do not have tantrums."

"Fine, an outburst, for three days now. Ever since the hallucinations stopped you've been mellow, thoughtful and generally nice to be around, if a little bad tempered still. Tom seems to think you're almost back to normal."

"You're not thinking of letting me out are you?"

"Why? Don't you want us to?" she asked curiously.

"Yes I do. Which is precisely why you shouldn't."

"Why not? You can't stay here forever Hal."

Hal watched her for a moment, pondering the best way to answer her question. Deciding that words wouldn't be enough to convince her, he sat up ever so slightly and looked her straight in the eye. A small part of him voiced its approval at his plan, even if it was all just to prove a point. It was the same part, the seductive, predatory vampire in him, that would likely do something like this for real over the coming weeks. Which was precisely why he had to test her defences against it. For now, he silenced the monster, pushing it to the back of his mind and refusing to acknowledge that he was in any way going to enjoy this.

She frowned ever so slightly at his suddenly intense gaze, but she held it none the less.

"Alex." he said, in the just the right tone of voice.

"Yea?" she answered, a little unsure of herself. He noticed her throat move subtly as she swallowed subconsciously. _Still got it_ the vampire in him thought to itself. Again he pushed the thought away, trying to remain himself for as long as possible. Now to be cruel to be kind.

"The other day, when I was... indisposed. I wanted to thank you for looking past everything I've said to you and having the heart to comfort me when, honestly, I really needed it."

"When you were hallucinating? I thought you never wanted to talk about it again?"

"I didn't. But I feel it's only fair to let you know what a difference it made. What a different **you** made to me."

"Oh. Well, you know I was being a tiny bit selfish really. Don't take this the wrong way, I hated seeing you like that, but it was sort of nice to feel... useful again." she looked down ashamedly for a second, but her eyes found their way back to his just as he had anticipated they would. He had snared a great many women with those eyes in the past. A lucky genetic gift he had been grateful for so many times. Now he hated it.

"You are useful Alex. You're much more than that." he pushed down the guilt that began to surface, but reminded himself that it was a good sign. He should feel guilty for what he was doing.

"Well, that's... nice of you to say so." she laughed nervously.

"It's the truth. And if I'm honest with myself, really honest, I didn't just let you get that close because I needed you. I wanted you." he licked his lips and her eyes fluttered down to them for a second, almost mesmerised. He desperately hoped she would spurn him, realising the lesson he was teaching her for herself so he wouldn't have to be so cruel.

"Wanted you? I mean me, wanted... me?" she stuttered, keeping her eyes locked on his.

"Yes. I still do." he said lowly. He wasn't being completely untruthful. Part of him wanted to continue the seduction, far past the point he needed to. See how far he could get with her. He had always liked a challenge. Of course, the monster really only wanted to be free so that it could escape and drink it's fill, massacring as many as it would take to sate the savage thirst that burned his throat every second of every day. Sexual gratification would simply be a welcome by-product and a tool, to make her do as he wanted.

That was why he had to teach her, however bad it made him feel. The battle that raged in him between the man and the vampire was nowhere near won yet, and this was the time when he was at his most dangerous.

"You... you don't. You would have let me hug you earlier if you did." she said uncertainly. It was enough. He sat back in the chair, shrugging off the quiet, confident air he had put on.

"Correct answer. And that is precisely why you can't even consider letting me out of this chair, not for one second, no matter how much I tell you I'm ready. Not for a long time yet." She stared at him confusedly for a minute, her eyes growing wide as the realisation of what he had been doing sank in.

"You complete knob!" she shouted.

"I'm sorry Alex, but there was no other way. You've only seen the good me, and the enraged, snarling animal I regretfully become at the start of the rehabilitation process. But there is so much more to it than that. This is when I get my senses back, and that's not always a good thing. It means I'm more pleasant to be around, but it also means that some of the time I become sly, and persuasive and very, very charming when I want to be. I'm telling you this now because I'm lucid, and because seducing you even the smallest amount felt wrong."

"Oh thanks!"

"Alex, please, let me finish. I won't always feel bad about it. The lucidity comes and goes in waves, and even if I try to warn you, you won't always know when it's over. Never trust me, at least not for a few weeks. Even just then, part of me enjoyed stringing you along, because the man I want to be and the man I used to be are still fighting for control. And fine, if I'm being honest, I may as well go the whole hog. We undoubtedly had an attraction before you died, and there's no questioning the fact that it's still there now in some small way. We'll address it when this is over," he said matter-of-factly, gesturing to the straps, "but for now, be under no illusion that the vampire in me will use it mercilessly to try to get you to let me out."

"So, basically, you're going to try to seduce your way out of the chair?"

"Not just that. I used that as an example because it's the technique I've had the most success with in the past. I've always had a problem with resisting the temptation where women are concerned, so I've had a lot of practice in making my conquests come to me. I know what I'm like, and here you are, beautiful and vulnerable, and ever so slightly attracted to me. You are, quite simply, a gift as far as the monster in me is concerned. But that won't be my only tactic. Between times like this, I'll try to lie, persuade and beg my way out of this chair at every opportunity. Neither of you are safe from that, but you are the one who is most at risk. And you're the one who will understand this best."

"Tom isn't stupid."

"No, but he is desperate for me to succeed. He'll see what he thinks is a step forward and he'll run with it. And that's very endearing, but it won't keep humanity safe from me. I have every confidence that you won't see the good in me so easily. You'll be more careful, because you've experienced first hand what's at stake." she put a hand to her neck subconsciously in remembrance "So I'm very sorry I had to do that to you, but believe me, that was gentle. The monster won't be."

"I suppose this whole situation is like a test for all of us. To find out how strong we are." She mumbled quietly.

"I have every faith in you both." He said honestly. She smiled slightly at that, and Hal felt guilty again. How much more pain would he have to inflict on them before they gave up?

"Speaking of faith, I realised just how heavily God features in "the twelve steps". Bet that'll put you off eh?" She said, clumsily changing the subject to a more comfortable topic. He almost laughed at the idea that religion was a more inviting topic of conversation for him, until he realised it was. Anything to get away from the heavy burden of guilt.

"On the contrary. I think it matters only how you interpret them. Is this you trying to bring up Step... what are we on now? Four?"

"Three. And yes, yes it is." She pulled a piece of paper from her jacket pocket and smirked at him, clearing her throat for dramatic effect. ""Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." I'm not one hundred per cent sure what it all means, but basically you've got to put yourself in God's hands yea? Not exactly your cup of tea is it?" she chuckled at him. "Ah well, I suppose you don't actually have to follow them all."

"As I said, it's how you interpret them." he said thoughtfully. "Not that I'm comparing you to God again, but I suppose I have turned myself over into your care, you and Tom's. And seeing as you two are a big part of the reason I'm trying so hard, I think it does still count. Ironic as the religious side of it all is, it does strike a chord."

"Right, slow down. I'm still a little rusty on my posh English. First, agreed, I suppose you are in our care, terrifying as that thought is. I never really thought about kids, let alone suddenly finding myself with a five-hundred year old addict to baby-sit. On second thought, seeing as not five minutes ago you were fake seducing me to teach me some weird supernatural life lesson, maybe it's best if we skip that particular concept."

"Quite. Second?"

"Second, are we really that important to you? I mean, I get Tom, he's sweet and you're mates, but me? You hardly know me. Shouldn't you be focusing on wanting to keep humanity alive or some sentimental, heroic bullshit like that?"

"Since you forced me to watch Jeremy Kyle," he shivered slightly at the memory, "I've found it difficult to focus on that as a goal. But in all seriousness, the reason I try to remain sober always stays the same. I do it because I think I have a duty to society to try my hardest to fit in, given all that I've done wrong in the past. The two of you just make it easier. You remind me what it is to be human."

"But we're not. Not anymore." She glanced down at her lap, but Hal noted that her usual sadness at this realisation now seemed tinged with acceptance. She was getting used to idea of being a ghost, slowly but surely.

"You're close enough. Closer than I am. And I've always found this process much easier when I've had friends around me."

"So no one told you life was, gonna be this waaay." She sang suddenly, clapping her hands. He frowned at her questioningly. "Friends? Never heard of it? Of course not. Remind me to show you one day, you'll love it."

"I doubt it." He responded dryly, but smiled at her attempt to lighten the mood nonetheless.

He looked down at one of the straps holding his wrists in place and pulled against it lightly. He couldn't fathom why he felt so at home, so comfortable with the prattling girl. Actually, he felt almost... happy. That wasn't right. Being cooped up here was an injustice someone of his rank should not be subjected to.

"Are you alright?" Alex asked concernedly. His head snapped up to look at her, startled by the unexpected noise.

"Yes, just feeling a little claustrophobic. Time to batten down the hatches I think." He gave her a knowing look and she nodded, grasping what he meant. His moment of clarity was coming to an end, to be replaced for a while with the cunning schemes of a desperate addict. Still, he thought, at least he had had a chance to let her know what they were in for. He had felt it coming for days, knowing from experience that it was on the cards. It hadn't stopped him from denying it though.

"So are you feeling up to any more food?" Alex asked experimentally.

"If I say yes, will you let me out?"

"Hal..." she warned.

"Just checking."


	5. Step Four: Moral Inventory

**********Disclaimer: I don't own Being Human, and I don't wish I did because it wouldn't be anywhere near as good as it is, and it would get cancelled when I made sure Damien Molony was in every scene!**

So having said I would update regularly, I went and got busy at work. And then ill. So I am rather sorry about the long wait for this chapter, which has been half written for a good week or so, but is now (finally) ready! Please enjoy, and thank you for your reviews, follows, favourties and patience :) x

**Spoilers**: Series 4 **and a tiny one from series 5!**

**Warnings**: Bad language, adult themes.

**Step Four: Moral Inventory**

"I'm definitely ready Tom. Honestly."

"Sorry Hal, but you told us not to let you out for a while yet."

"Yes but it's been a while. More than a while. It's time. Please?"

"Hal..."

"Alright, I know, I shouldn't keep asking you. You're my best friend Tom. Though, to tell you the truth, I was rather hoping you would know when to release me yourself, without me having to ask. I suppose I was wrong. Perhaps we're not as close as I imagined."

"Oi you, leave him alone. He's not letting you out yet, end of." Alex muttered distractedly as she wandered into the living room reading a magazine.

"Make me." Hal challenged, grinning at her smugly.

"Trust me, when you're really ready to come out, if you still want to fight me I'll be more than happy to oblige, but for now you're not going anywhere." She smiled back at him as he glared sourly.

"You're just worried you wouldn't be able to take me."

"Trust me Sugar, that's not the problem. It's who else you'd go after that I'm worried about. Come on Hal, just give up. I thought you said you were smart."

"Yea, telling us your plan wasn't exactly your best move mate." Tom said almost sympathetically, sitting on the sofa and flicking on the TV.

"And for the record, I take offense that you think the best way to get me to let you out is by picking a fight with me." Alex said indignantly, looking up from her magazine. She sat down on one of the bar stools and crossed her arms irritably. "Before, you were sure you'd try and charm your way out. I thought I was in for a good 'wooing'. I'd have preferred that to basically being called a ladette."

"This coming from the girl who wanted to, and I quote, "beat seven shades of shite" out of Cutler. It stands to reason that you're easily riled. But you also like a challenge it seems, so it's fair to assume that if your temper got the better of you, you'd release me in order to quench your thirst for a brawl." Hal smiled at her.

"Quench **my** thirst? That's rich! And then what? I'd trounce you and you'd still end up back in the chair, just with a sore head and a boot print on your arse."

"Will you two stop it? There's not gonna be any fighting, not in the house. Annie wouldn't have liked it, and it don't matter that she's not here anymore 'cos it's still her house to me. You wouldn't be saying that if you were good Hal because you're a gentleman, and gentlemen don't fight ladies, so you're not helping yourself." Tom told the vampire determinedly. Alex had to smile at him. He'd grown up a lot in the last few weeks.

Hal sighed and shuffled lower in his chair, but he didn't reply.

"Alex, how long's it been since you last did one of them step things with Hal?" the werewolf asked.

"A week."

"Maybe it'll help?"

"Help what? His mind's fine, he's just being a twat."

"I take exception to being called a twat, I just don't want to be here anymore. It's not my fault." Hal snapped, glaring at her petulantly.

"Ooh, sorry Hal, I almost felt sorry for you then, but I take exception to being called a cock-sucking, simple minded, infuriatingly persistent whore. That's what you said this morning wasn't it?" she smiled sweetly at him but her eyes betrayed the irritation in her statement.

"I didn't know what I was saying. Well... technically I did, but I couldn't help myself. And you know I don't really think that."

"Halle-fucking-lujah! Are you back with us again then? Is the grand persuasion over for now? Or will we not know until it's too late?" the ghost huffed, turning back to her magazine.

"It doesn't work like that, surely you understand it by now? I alternate between knowing I have to stay here and wanting to be released, but it doesn't come in waves, it's more immediate then that. So no, I don't suppose you will know. How could you when I don't even really know." Hal explained exasperatedly.

"To be honest Hal, I've stopped listening to anything you have to say at the moment. This is all just way too much of a head fuck for me to handle." The ghost muttered without looking up.

"So you want to stay there for now?" Tom asked curiously. Hal nodded, if a little unsurely.

"For now." He confirmed.

"Not two minutes ago you were trying to persuade me to fight you. See. Head fuck." Alex shook her head at him.

"He can't help it Alex." Tom said from the sofa, coming to his friend's defence.

"I'm not angry at him. I'm angry at his inner vampire thingy that makes him act like an arse. I don't know how you manage to stay so calm! I actually preferred it when he was being an angry lunatic. At least then I knew whether I was coming or going!"

"I can hear you you know..." Hal muttered.

"Go on Alex. What step you on now?" Tom smiled at her.

"Do you honestly think it will make a difference?" she asked, turning away from the bar to look at Hal.

"It can't hurt." The vampire shrugged. Alex sighed, but she caught Tom's hopeful grin as the werewolf turned on the sofa to face them, peering boyishly over the back.

"Fine." She fumbled the piece of paper with the Twelve Steps written out in her scrawled handwriting from her jacket pocket. "Right. So. This should be a barrel of laughs. It says, "made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves". So Hal. Fancy doing a moral inventory?"

"How long have you got?"

"Eternity apparently." She retorted dryly.

"Eh? Moral inventory? Is that like, all the bad things you've done?" Tom frowned at her.

"It's more of an internal analysis of the characteristics that have caused him problems in the past and that he dislikes. Well, that's close enough anyway, it's rather an intensive and highly personal process." Alex grinned at Hal and Tom's disbelieving stares. "What? Didn't you think I'd understand it?"

"In a word, no." Hal responded quietly. "How?"

"Don't be so bloody cheeky, I'm not a complete idiot. And if you must know, my friend told me."

"Your friend?" Tom asked.

"Google." The ghost smiled.

"Google? Why on earth would anyone call themselves that?" Hal frowned confusedly.

"Oh for crying out loud. You've never heard of... on second thoughts, don't worry. So what do you think Hal, moral inventory. Are we giving it a go or what?"

"Well I don't seem to have anything better to do with my time." The vampire muttered sourly. Alex and Tom watched him intently for a few minutes.

"So..." the ghost ventured, breaking the silence.

"So what? You said internal. I'm thinking about it."

"Where's the fun in that!?"

"I'm sure it's not meant to be fun."

"Not for you."

"Alex. Go away."

"Fine, jeez. Can't blame me for trying." She sighed and closed the magazine, hopping off the bar stool and rentaghosting out of the room.

After a few minutes of silence, Hal sighed. He'd been over this in his head enough times already. He knew exactly what made him bad, and he couldn't only blame his vampire side. The world had weathered him and worn him down years before he had made his choice with the army surgeon at Orsha. If he hadn't been a particularly nice human, what chance had he ever had at being a nice vampire.

"You alright mate?" He almost jumped at Tom's question, forgetting where he was for a time. The werewolf watched him concernedly from the sofa.

"Yes. Well, no. Perhaps fresh eyes will help this. Tom, what do you think is wrong with me? From what you've seen of me, what do you think makes me bad?" Hal asked.

"You're a vampire." Tom stated simply.

"No," Hal closed his eyes for a moment, holding on to his temper, "apart from that. What is it in my personality, my mannerisms, behaviour? What do you think I do wrong?"

"I thought this had to come from you? It's your list."

"Yes, but I'm not new to this concept. I've been judging myself for the past five-hundred years, and I think it's finally time I asked someone else. And as you pointed out all those weeks ago, you are my best friend." Tom grinned and moved to sit on the arm of the sofa so that he could face the vampire.

"Alright. Um... This is difficult."

"Be as harsh as you like."

"You're stuck up."

"Arrogant, right. Hardly a trait likely to end in murder is it?" Hal raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Well you tell me. If you think you're better than someone, you ain't more likely to keep 'em alive are you?"

"I haven't killed many people because of a lack of respect, I've killed them because I needed blood."

"So you've never chosen your victims? You've just picked 'em out of the blue like?"

"Well... not exactly... But if anything I've picked people because of the challenge..."

"And you thought you couldn't lose. So, you didn't just think you were better than **them**, you were making a point that you was better than everyone else too. Which I think you'll find, is arrogant." Tom smiled widely at his friend, glad to have made his point. Hal just gaped at him.

"You're actually right. Jesus."

"Well don't sound so bloody surprised!"

"Sorry. Any more insights?"

"You get angry really quickly."

"I have a short temper because I'm always tense. It grates on the nerves a tad, stopping yourself from killing an entire species."

"So when you're bad, it takes you ages to lose it?"

"... Fine, moving on..." Hal sighed.

"You're not very nice to people."

"Oh come on. Are we in the school playground?"

"Just smile a bit more. Be polite, that's all."

"Again, I'm not sure my aptitude at manners makes any difference to my likelihood of killing anyone."

"Well it doesn't help your chances of getting a girlfriend."

"I don't want a girlfriend, how on earth would that help matters?"

"Well what's Alex then?"

"What?!"

"Just teasing. But still, being nice doesn't cost nothing and it makes people feel better, so you should try it sometimes."

"Fine, I'll be nicer. Occasionally. Back to the point Tom. What makes me a monster?" The werewolf leant his chin in his hands and looked at him thoughtfully for a moment.

"What was you like before you was a vampire?"

"Why does that matter?"

"Well you're asking me about your personality and stuff, and if I'm ignoring that you're a vampire, I need to know what you were like. Were you like this?"

"No."

"Then what was you like?" Hal looked down as he thought back.

"Tired. Old before my time. Desperate. Destitute. Nothing." He answered honestly.

"Did you do bad things?"

"At times."

"And did you kill?"

"Once. Apart from during battle."

"Why? You didn't need blood." Hal glanced at his young friend and wondered if he should tell him. The werewolf deserved the truth, but he was still so innocent in so many ways. And yet so knowing as well.

"I haven't told you about my mother's. I had six."

"I know I'm a bit green with that stuff Hal but even I know that's not possible." The vampire smiled slightly.

"Of course not. They all brought me up, but I don't know which was my real mother."

"How?"

"Because they were prostitutes." The werewolf didn't react past a quick raising of his eyebrows in surprise, so Hal carried on. "We all lived together in a brothel, and that's where I spent my childhood. It wasn't a nice way to grow up, but at least I always felt loved. It's more than most brothel urchins had. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that men aren't always kind to women Tom, when they're... anyway. One night I heard a commotion and found a man beating one of my mother's. It turned out he had refused to pay, on account that he was a regular customer and felt he deserved not to have to. By the time I found them and stepped in it was clearly too late. He had killed her, staved her head in with his bare hands. I grabbed the nearest thing of any weight, a chamber pot I think, and swung it at him. Next thing I knew he was dead. I was fourteen."

He swallowed a lump in his throat and turned to Tom. He felt silly, knowing that after all this time the memory of an incident that had occurred over five-hundred years ago could still make him emotional.

"I'm sorry mate. I'd have done the same thing, if it were me. I wanted to rip the world apart when me Dad died."

"My mum left me. I want to find her and rip her apart sometimes." The boys looked up as Alex mumbled from the doorway, where she'd been watching quietly. She took up her usual place on the barstool and swung herself gently.

"Maybe it is just the vampire that makes you kill people then. And you've beaten that so maybe you'll never kill again." Tom suggested hopefully. Hal knew better.

"That's too much like being exonerated, and I don't deserve that. The vampire can't be blamed for everything. I did other things as a human Tom, not murder, but I wasn't kind."

"But you're different now. Try and work on what we said before if you still feel like you need to change. Maybe you'll feel better for it." The werewolf smiled.

"What else did you do?" Alex asked him pointedly. He looked her straight in the eyes and almost told her to mind her own business before he remembered what Tom had said about being kind. And she was a friend. She was almost more. He should tell her if she wanted to know.

"I stole, I fought, I drank too much. I seduced girls and abandoned them once I'd had my fun. I fathered children and left them and their mother's to fend for themselves without a second thought."

"No worse than some of the blokes I've known. Just because you weren't great then doesn't mean you can't be now." Alex rationalised.

"Doesn't it?"

"No. Because now you know it was wrong." She smiled at him, knowing she'd won the argument already. He frowned before looking down at his lap again.

"See, maybe you don't have to make so many changes after all." Tom grinned at him.

"But if I do promise to change, can I come out?" Hal asked pleadingly. Alex and Tom rolled their eyes and smiled at each other before going back to ignoring the vampire's temporary begging.


	6. Step Five:The Exact Nature Of Our Wrongs

******Disclaimer: I don't own Being Human, and I don't wish I did because it wouldn't be anywhere near as good as it is, and it would get cancelled when I made sure Damien Molony was in every scene!**

Finally got this one finished! Thanks for all the support so far, it means a lot! Enjoy x

**Spoilers**: Series 4

**Warnings**: Bad language, some discussion of violence.

**Step Five: The Exact Nature Of Our Wrongs**

"Jesus this place is a mess. You two need help. It's actually making me want to start begging to be released again."

"If you think about it, we're really just making sure you have loads to do when we let you out. So we're actually being really thoughtful." Alex smirked at the disgruntled vampire over the top of her magazine.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"Seeing you squirm? A little bit yea."

"Barbaric little ape."

"Pompous old git."

The ghost looked up and raised an eyebrow as Hal growled at her quietly. He hadn't tried to persuade them to let him out for a few days now, but his temper was still dangerously on edge. Their banter might seem good natured, but she could feel the bitter edge to his words. Alex wasn't sure what she had expected, but it was almost as if he'd taken a step backwards rather than forwards. Before, there had been distinctive breaks between anger and apologies, begging and acceptance, insults and friendly teasing. Three days of dark moods, insincere apologies and sarcastic slurs had been enough to test the ghost's patience to the brink.

Hal being abusive wasn't the problem, she had heard it all before and it hadn't particularly stung back then, in those dark days before they saw any hope of his recovery. What hurt now was that he had seemed so close to being ready, the light at the end of the tunnel plainly in view, and suddenly, it was as if he'd given up. He wasn't being nearly as vindictive as before, but that was worse in a way. Now it felt as though he meant it all.

"Where's Tom?" he asked suddenly, pulling her from her thoughts.

"At work." She lied. It had been a week since Tom had broken the news to her that he and Hal had been relieved of their duties at the cafe, but they had both agreed that telling Hal would not help the situation in the slightest. The werewolf was in fact out looking for a new job, ideally something away from people that Hal could begin as soon as possible once he had been released. Not that that was looking too hopeful now. Alex mentally slapped herself for being so negative. If they didn't have hope, they had nothing.

"I'm surprised you're here." He continued. Alex put down her magazine and looked at him. It seemed he was in a chatty mood.

"Where else would I go? I can't exactly leave you on your own for long. What if you needed a drink, or the bog or something?"

"Your concern is touching I'm sure, but I meant in here, in this room. It's obvious you can't stand me so why put yourself through the torture of keeping me company?"

"It's not you, it's your bloody self-loathing, childish, arse wipe of a bad mood I can't stand." She tailed off into a mutter and looked away, wondering if she'd pushed too far. He stared at her indignantly for a moment.

"Wouldn't you have the propensity to feel a little melancholy if you were in my shoes?"

"You don't have to take it out on us though. Just, be happy or whatever, stop moping about and being rude all the time."

"My sincere apologies. I shall simply get on with it from now on." He settled back into the chair but didn't take his eyes from hers, staring her down. She sighed.

"If you'd tell us what all this was about, that might go some way towards helping us understand. I don't get it. It's like, you're so much better than you've been since this whole thing started, but you're pissed off about it. It's like you've given up." she finished sadly. His gaze softened.

"I haven't given up."

"Then stop acting like a child and tell me why you're being like this. At least before you couldn't help it, now it seems like you're being an arse because you can't be bothered to be nice."

"I don't know where to go from here." He answered after a minute, looking down at the floor. "Leo and Pearl were my safety net, then I came here and there was Annie and duty and distraction. Now there's this chair, and however much I long to be out of it, I can't help worrying what comes next."

"Don't you think we'll be enough?"

"I don't know. It's nothing personal," he added as her face fell, "It's not that I don't think you and Tom will be up to the task, it's just that I don't know if I am. It feels like I've been going round in circles, and I always end up going back to the same old life, the same old behaviour. What if routines and companionship aren't enough any more?"

"There's only one way to find out. And I told you before, you can't stay there forever Hal. One day we're going to have to take a chance and let you out, whether you think you're ready or not."

"I know. It doesn't mean I have to like it though."

"No, it doesn't. But it would make things easier if you could at least pretend. You've had a face like a slapped arse for days." He smiled slightly at that, the first time she had seen him do anything but scowl or grimace for the best part of a week.

"Sorry. It's all just so depressing. You can only ponder the point of life and your place within it so many times before it starts to get you down."

"You're so nearly there Hal. Don't ruin it all now. Hey, maybe you need a distraction? Something to focus on." she smiled at him, reaching a hand into her jacket pocket.

"I know where this is going." He muttered under his breath.

"Damn straight. It's blood addicts anonymous time again!" she grinned, unfolding the piece of paper with the steps written on it, forcing herself to sound enthusiastic.

"I don't want to."

"Why not? You need something to stop you from moping."

"And examining my many failures will do that will it? Trust me, this isn't the time."

"Not examining. Admitting." She smiled, reading the next step in her head.

"Enlighten me." Hal sighed and rolled his eyes. Alex cleared her throat for effect.

"So, step five. It turns out you have to admit to God, to yourself and to a human being_,_ _"the exact nature"_ of your wrongs. You have to agree that, if you think about it, it's a bit hilarious." Alex chuckled. Hal stared at her blankly.

"Sidesplitting." He replied dead-pan.

"Oh lighten up! Anyway, we've already established that I'm your god substitute, so that's sorted," he rolled his eyes again as she winked at him, "and you already know everything you've done so we've got that covered too. Probably best if we give the human being bit a miss though. We don't want to tempt fate." She smirked at him before folding her hands together and putting on a mock air of solemnity. "So. What is the exact nature of your wrongs Hal?"

"We will quite literally be here for years if I tell you everything I've done. Not that I would."

"Then tell me what you feel comfortable admitting. Tell me some of the things you've done that have made you such a bad person in the past. It's not about admitting it to me anyway, it's yourself you have to be honest with. That's what it's asking for."

"I know very well what it's asking for Alex. More to the point, I live with my guilt every day. I see my victim's faces every night. What good will saying it out loud do?"

"It might take away some of the burden."

"That will never happen. And neither should it. I should remember them every day. It's my punishment, and it's still never going to be enough."

"Alright then. It does say that you don't _have_ to do all of the steps. We'll just skip this one if it's too painful." She smiled at him sympathetically.

"Painful?" he spat the word as if she'd insulted him with it.

"I wasn't having a go..."

"No no, you're right. It is painful. It's excruciating. But perhaps that's only fair..."

"Hal..."

"No, if you want so desperately to hear it, it's only fitting that I oblige."

"You really don't have..."

"Let's start with Carolyn. She was sweet, respectable, a picture of good old fashioned eighteenth century decency. It took me three months to coax her away from her husband and into my bed, and only two minutes to rip her throat out. Just one in a long line of women who became yet another meaningless, addiction fuelled conquest. And who else, let me think?"

"Hal stop it."

"I thought you wanted to know all the grizzly details? Now who else was there? Ah yes, Magda. She put up a good fight but she couldn't hold me back for long. None of them could. At least I killed her quickly though. Now Lucy, she had a good go. She tried to scratch my eyes out while she fought me off. So I took hers, before I killed her. It only seemed fair at the time, but I still hear her now in my dreams, begging me not to."

"Alright, fine, if this is helping you then go ahead. Name them all, because I haven't got anywhere else to be!" she snapped.

"Ah yes. Then there's one of my more recent victims. You might know her. Feisty, Scottish girl, trapped in limbo because I killed someone's wife half a century ago. It doesn't matter what I do, even if I don't kill them, I just keep hurting people. My actions cause pain to others. Do you see why remembering all of that is just a little bit tricky for me? I don't have to admit it all out loud, because every day I see you and that does the job for me."

Alex frowned at him for a moment, briefly noticing the dampness in his eyes before he swallowed his distress away.

"Are you finished?" she asked dryly.

"That depends. Have you heard enough? Do you understand?"

"Perfectly. But let's get something straight. This self pitying bullshit isn't helping anyone, so you can cut it out right now. I don't care what you've done in the past, I care what you'll do in the future, and as it stands, I believe you'll be alright, not because I think you're a great bloke, or because we can keep you safe, but because I have to. What's the alternative? And you need to start believing in yourself too, because God knows Hal, you're making it hard enough for us at the moment."

"There you go making it sound simple again."

"I thought you wanted to be punished? If it was easy, you'd just feel worse. Checkmate I think." He frowned at her, but he couldn't fault her logic. "And for the record, don't ever use **my** death as an example of your problems again. One day, maybe we'll talk about it, and maybe I'll forgive you, but that's my decision to make, not yours."

Hal sat quietly, watching her for a while, offering nothing in the form of either an argument or an apology. She sighed irritably and turned back to her magazine, trying to ignore the fact that he was staring at her.

"Would you mind switching the television on? Cash In The Attic will be on soon." He said eventually. Alex looked up at him disbelievingly.

"What?"

"I asked if you wouldn't mind turning on the..."

"I know what you said. Why?"

"Because I enjoy the programme." He answered, smiling politely.

"Hal, for fucks sake. Could you be any more frustrating?"

"What have I done now? Have I caused some form of offence by asking? I'd do it myself of course, but I'm unfortunately a little tied up at the moment." He smiled again, tugging on the restraints at his wrists to demonstrate his point. Alex groaned and shut her eyes, letting her head fall forward onto the bar. "Alex? Are you quite alright?"

"Are you!? Have you actually gone mental or something?" She asked, sitting up and looking at him worriedly. "We really should have just skipped step five."

"Ah, I see you are in need of an explanation. Allow me to oblige. I believe you were perturbed by my foul mood. You're right. It's not helping and you shouldn't have to put up with it."

"So what you just turned it off? You're suddenly happy now? Bull shit."

"Indeed. But my moping won't do any of us any good. And as you rightly said, I can't stay here forever. How about I pretend everything's alright, and we won't mention what happened today again? Deal?"

"So you're just going to fake being happy so we won't worry about you?"

"Well I was aiming more for ceasing to upset you. I'm not sure you'll ever stop worrying about me. I certainly don't think you should. But who knows. Perhaps it will go some way towards actually changing my mindset."

"I'm this close to giving you a pity hug." Alex grinned, happy to see him getting back to normal, even if it was a lie.

"Don't. I fear you may set me back weeks if you do." He warned, though she spotted the smile playing at the corner of his mouth. She was sure he was probably still only acting, but it was nice to see him back to normal. Whatever that was.

"One day, really soon, you're going to actually feel happy without having to pretend." She smiled warmly at him.

"We'll see." He replied quietly. "Now. The television. Please?" Alex held out her hand and the remote jumped into it with ease. They both looked up as they heard the front door open. Tom wandered in and flopped on to the sofa with a smile.

"Alright?" he greeted them. Hal looked up at the clock and frowned.

"Why aren't you at work, it's only four?"

"Oh, yea. Um. Tony popped in. He said I could go home because it was so quiet." Tom lied, glancing at Alex with a panicked look. She smiled and put her thumbs up to him quickly before Hal turned back around, just missing the gesture. He looked at them both suspiciously, but didn't say anything.

"On a Thursday?"

"So Tom, me and Hal were about to watch some TV. Care to join?" Alex cut in, changing the subject so that the werewolf wouldn't have to try to think of any more excuses.

"That sounds like a lovely idea Alex. What's on?" he answered, flashing her a grateful look. Hal shook his head dismissively and turned his attention to the screen. They watched quietly for a few minutes before the vampire broke the silence.

"Oh and Alex. It's Hal and I, not "me and Hal". For future reference." He smiled smugly at her before looking back at the screen.

She scowled at him for a moment before realising what had just happened. He had corrected her grammar. She grinned and settled into her bar stool, watching her two new friends as they concentrated on the television screen. Hal was definitely coming back to them. The hard part was over.


	7. Step Six: Defects Of Character

**********Disclaimer: I don't own Being Human, and I don't wish I did because it wouldn't be anywhere near as good as it is, and it would get cancelled when I made sure Damien Molony was in every scene!**

Ok, so the series 5 spoilers start here! Thanks again for the reviews, follows, favourites and support. Enjoy! x

**Spoilers**: Series 4 and Series 5

**Step Six: Defects Of Character**

Hal couldn't quite believe the time had come. He hadn't been sure he'd make it this far, even with the clarity of the past few days. He really had only meant for them to let him out of the chair for a few minutes to tidy up a bit, but here they were, ready to release him for good.

"You need to swear on something." Tom stated, pulling something from his pocket. Hal took a deep breath as he recognised the small, pristine white scrap of material. One of Eve's bibs. "On the memory of Eve." The werewolf said solemnly.

"On the memory of Eve." Hal repeated, with a sentimentality he had forgotten he was capable of. He missed her as much as he missed Annie, and that surprised him no end still. He'd never been the paternal type, but babies were cleverly designed in their nature to stir the urge to nurture in their carers. It may be a trick of evolution, but it didn't make her loss any easier to bear.

Tom looked at Alex, then back to the vampire and smiled brightly, seemingly satisfied with Hal's vow.

"Right then." He moved quickly to undo the restraints that had held his friend in place for weeks. Hal did his best to look pleased, but he was still in shock, not to mention plagued by uncertainty. Was he truly ready? Only time would tell, but it wasn't a very reassuring thought.

As the last restraint was removed, Tom stood back next to Alex, still smiling triumphantly. Hal moved his arms experimentally, flexing his weakened biceps, rotating his aching shoulders. It took more effort than he had expected. He braced his hands on the arms of the chair and shuffled his legs forward stiffly. He counted to three in his head before dragging himself to his feet feeling every bit the old man that he was. His back clicked, a dull, throbbing ache beginning near the base of his spine, but at least he was standing.

He noticed Tom and Alex were watching him intently, and he wondered if they were just a little bit pleased with his slow progress. It would certainly make running away harder. He noted that he didn't want to run away, even if he had been capable. _Perhaps I really am alright_, he mused hopefully.

He went to take a shuffling step and almost fell, his legs not quite doing what he told them to. Tom was at his shoulder in an instant, gripping one of his arms to prevent him from falling.

"It's alright mate, I've got you." Hal swallowed down his immediate feeling of shame and let the werewolf help.

"I'd like to tidy myself up a bit before starting on the house. Stubble is one thing but I haven't had a proper beard for years and I have no intention of keeping it. Not to mention the state of my... personal hygiene." He said hesitantly, looking down at his unkempt appearance. It riled him almost as much as the state of the house.

"Right. Off we go then." Tom supported him as they made their way out into the hallway, the true extent of the domestic filth quickly becoming evident. He grimaced but held his tongue, reminding himself that cleanliness, while important, was not the be all and end all.

"I still can't believe you made me eat mashed bananas." Hal complained, attempting to take his mind off of his woefully untidy surroundings as Tom helped him up the stairs.

"They're good for you. That's what McNair used to say."

"You know I could just rentaghost you the rest of the way up." Alex smiled, crossing her arms and following behind them.

"That won't be necessary thank you, I'm fine." Hal grimaced, pushing away from Tom and using the wall for support as he climbed. Tom held out his hands behind the vampire, as if he thought his friend would fall at any moment.

Hal's slow progress finally paid off as he reached the first floor landing, shuffling his way towards the bathroom. He turned abruptly in the doorway and Alex and Tom almost bumped into him.

"I think I can manage alone from here." He frowned at them both.

"Of course, yea. Totally." Alex laughed awkwardly, moving back away from the door, pulling Tom with her. "We'll just wait out here."

"You don't have to do that." Hal sighed. He took one last look at them before shaking his head defeatedly, hobbling into the bathroom and closing the door behind himself. Tom and Alex sat down on the floor opposite, leaning back against the wall to get comfy. If they knew Hal, this was going to be a long wait.

* * *

Hal leant back against the wall of the shower cubicle and closed his eyes. Many a time whilst stuck in the confines of the chair downstairs, he'd longed for the feel of hot water and the smell of soap. He'd long since given up trying to scrub himself clean of the guilt and the blood he still felt on every inch of his skin, but water hot enough that it stung just on the edge of pain still helped to make him feel at least a little cleaner. He lost himself in the steam and the comfort for a good half an hour before the water temperature began to drop, and the struggles of real life once again beckoned.

Opening the cubicle door, he grimaced at the mess Tom and Alex had somehow made while he had been out of action, stepping over clothes and discarded towels to reach his own still neatly folded on the towel rail, just as he had left it. He managed to dry himself without toppling over, the feeling fully returned to his limbs, much to his relief. His next most pressing desire was to deal with the itchy mess of hair that had grown over the weeks, a task that would not be helped by the apparent lack of his scissors and razor. He sighed irritably and wrenched the door open, the sudden noise startling Alex and Tom who were still sat stretched out against the opposite wall.

"Where are my personal grooming implements?" He asked testily, wondering if they would be honest with him or try and wriggle out of the situation. He caught Alex's lingering glance at his uncovered torso and suddenly felt quite exposed, despite the towel secured tightly in place around his hips. When she remembered her manners and met his eye, she didn't look in the slightest bit ashamed at her brazen ogling. He almost tutted, but was distracted as Tom spoke.

"We weren't sure you'd want them so we put them away." He explained hesitantly.

"And where did you put them?"

"Um, somewhere. In the house."

"So by put away you meant hid."

"They're not hidden. We know where they are." Alex smiled from the floor. He frowned down at her.

"Very useful. Go and get them please."

"Hal... are you sure you're alright mate? You're not feeling..." Tom began uncomfortably.

"Suicidal? No Tom, I'm not. And if I were, I'd probably be better off with a stake rather than a razor blade." Another lie, in part. The thought of staking himself had occurred many times, and recently too. At least this time companionship had been the root cause of his decision not to, rather than the usual cowardice or arrogance.

"Well... if you're sure."

"Yes Tom, I'm very sure. I'm even more certain that I want to get rid of this monstrosity of a beard so please, would you mind retrieving them for me."

The werewolf looked to Alex for support, but she smiled and rentaghosted away, returning a few seconds later with the razor and scissors in her hands.

"Here. Knock yourself out. But hang on, how are you going to do it without using a..." Hal took them from her and retreated back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and leaving them alone in the hallway again. "... mirror?" she finished with a sigh.

* * *

The best part of an hour later, a still towel clad but considerably less hairy Hal emerged from the bathroom again, walking past Tom and Alex and into his bedroom without saying a word. He was grateful for their silence, in no mood to be mollycoddled after having to rely on them to do everything for him for weeks. The solitude of his room was a welcome change.

Alone at last. To his surprise, he wasn't sure he felt very happy about it. They might have irritated him beyond belief with their comings and goings, their horrific untidiness and their inane chatter, but he'd got used to them being there, and though he'd never admit it to them, he had grown to enjoy their constant company. He realised that this was new. He had relished time away from the world and away from people since he'd started his new life in Southend more than half a century ago. Even Leo and Pearl were not exempt. He had loved them dearly, but he had been most at home in his own company, and had been for some time. Now, he felt almost bereft in the peace of the bedroom. He put it down to the anxiety of being released, and that having them around distracted him from thinking too much, as he often did. And was now, he realised.

He opened his wardrobe and smiled relievedly. Everything was still hung and precisely organised as he had left it, and that had a comforting familiarity at least. He picked out a white flannel shirt and brown trousers without much thought, the same clothes he had worn when he had first arrived at Honolulu Heights, but something made him stop. He put them back and instead opted for a blue t-shirt and dark jeans. He'd never been one for symbolism, but this seemed important. Living at the B&B had shown him just how far behind the times he had become, and having Alex there had widened the gap further. It was time to continue to adapt now, and accept that times had changed. The others seemed to forget how old he was too easily, and he supposed he could understand why. All they saw was a man in his early twenties with some old fashioned tendencies. He, on the other hand, often felt ancient and run down, if not physically then mentally, but he'd never much fancied being a surly old man and so he must do his best to resist the creep of time and be youthful. Radio 4 could stay though. And the lute. And the embroidery. There was no need to abandon civility.

He dressed and sat on the bed, about to start trimming his barbarously long finger nails when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." He called, looking up. Alex appeared out of nowhere infront of him, making him jump. "Jesus..."

"Sorry. You alright then?" she asked, flopping inelegantly on to the bed beside him without waiting for an invitation.

"Getting there. You?"

"Me?" she said, obviously surprised that he had asked. "Oh, you know. Getting there." She smiled, returning his code for _I'd rather not talk about it_. He smiled back at her and realised how comfortable he felt. Someone he really didn't know very well was in his room, contributing to the irritating creases in his bed linen, so close their elbows touched, and yet he wasn't itching to ask her to leave.

He barely remembered the afternoon that she had comforted him when he had been hallucinating, but he did remember seeing Leo, weeping like a child, and her holding him. There was a lot unsaid between them, and it was a subject he was still eager to avoid, but somehow, that intimate afternoon together wasn't a source of discomfort. It hadn't been anything to do with attraction, it was just something he had needed, and that she had too if what she had said afterwards was anything to go by. He hadn't realised how much she needed to feel a part of something until then. He had been a tad distracted after all, but he felt it now and was finally in a position to do something about it. There must be no talk of her being the new girl. He would strive to make her feel at home with him and Tom. He owed her that and more after all.

"Was that all?" he asked.

"Well, to tell you the truth, Tom asked me to come in 'cause you'd gone all quiet and he was worried you might have climbed out the window or something. He's what like, twenty years old..."

"Twenty-one." Hal corrected.

"Right, twenty-one, and it's like he thinks he's your mum." She joked. She brought her feet up, boots and all, to sit cross legged.

"He's very caring." Hal smiled, but she caught his disapproving frown as he glanced down at her boots on his bed. She rolled her eyes, but untucked her legs and let her feet fall back to the floor with a thud.

"Yea he is. You look happier already by the way."

"I'm happy to be unrestrained and to have bathed. As for happy in general... I'm reserving judgement for now." He answered honestly.

"Still feeling down?"

"Not really down, more along the lines of worried."

"About?"

"Do you really need to ask? I don't know if I'm ready for this yet. Or ever."

"You haven't run off yet. We'll keep you safe Hal, so if you can't trust yourself yet, trust us." She rubbed his arm encouragingly. He wondered vaguely if this was another new characteristic of the "new" him, his lack of discomfort at physical contact. He'd got used to Tom over time, though it had still been a struggle. Since first becoming lucid again in the chair, he'd noticed he hadn't had the urge to pull away when either of them touched him. He wondered for a moment if his lack of discomfort with Alex had more to do with... shallow reasons, but he quickly shook the thought away.

"I suppose I'll have to. If I stick to the terms we agreed and get back to my routines, I'm sure I'll be fine. I managed before, I can manage again."

"That's the spirit! There was one more thing too."

"Oh?"

"I know step five didn't exactly go to plan, but I thought you should have this." She took her hand away from his arm and dug around in her jacket pocket, retrieving the piece of paper with the Twelve Steps written on it and handing it to him. "It's up to you now, if you want to keep doing them."

"I will." He said, looking down at the scrap in his hand. It was strange how significant it felt, as if she was handing over the responsibility that had gone along with taking care of him. If he hadn't been over twenty times her age, he might have equated it to a coming of age experience. He held back a groan as he suddenly felt his age again. "Thank you."

"No probs. Right, well I'll leave you to it then. Better be getting back to Tom anyway, or he'll be wondering what we've been doing in here all this time." she started to laugh, but her amusement faded as she realised the awkwardness of the joke. Hal shook his head but smiled nonetheless.

"I'll be down soon. I want to make a start on the cleaning as soon as possible." He said, changing the subject. She hopped up from the bed energetically.

"See you downstairs." She smiled before rentaghosting away.

Alone again, he looked down at the piece of paper, grimacing as he tried to read her scrawl.

"Step six. "Entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." I'd say I've been ready for that for the last six decades at least." Hal muttered to himself quietly.

Even if they hadn't gone through the last few steps, he was painfully aware of what these "defects" were. Lust for blood was the obvious one, but he had been resigned to the fact that that wasn't going anywhere for at least four centuries now. But there were others he had been working on for a long time, and with great success.

Greed, hunger for power, taking pleasure in violence, a carnal appetite for pretty girls. These were all things he had turned his back on in order to live a good life. He still wanted them sometimes, he couldn't deny that. But at least he hadn't given in. It gave him a sudden renewed sense of hope that he could stay without them, and in turn without blood. He wished it was as simple as having someone take away his defects, but then that wasn't what the step actually meant. Being ready to surrender them was a big deal, and even if it was technically something he'd overcome over half a century ago, it was still important. It still meant that he wanted to be clean, and that was a huge part of the battle won.

Once he had finished his personal grooming he made his way downstairs, noting that Alex and Tom had vacated the landing, obviously deciding they could trust him enough to leave him alone for while. He found them in the living room watching TV. He grimaced at the sight before him. Of course, he'd been able to see the mess from the chair, but now he could survey the whole room from standing it was even worse than he had previously thought. The others seemed to sense him standing behind them, and turned on the sofa to look at him.

"You alright mate?" Tom asked, an edge of worry to his voice, as if the state of the place might tip Hal back over the edge. The vampire tore his eyes away from the devastation and made an effort to smile at his friend.

"Yes. Remind me never to leave you both to your own devices for weeks on end again though. Not if this is the result."

"Do you want some help?" Alex asked.

"No, no it's alright. It's a project. I'll soon have the place looking ship shape. I trust we have an adequate supply of marigolds. As I said, it's a two sets problem." He said jovially as he strode away towards the kitchen.

"When you said cleaning makes him happy, I didn't realise you were being this serious. Mind you, I should have seen the signs. He was dancing with a mop when I met him." Alex laughed.

"He loves it. He'll be busy for hours now."

"Hours? Try days, you have seen the kitchen recently haven't you?" Right on cue, Hal poked his head out of the double doors.

"What the hell happened in here? Were we burgled or ransacked at some point and I just didn't notice?"

"Oh yea, sorry, I can't just blame Tom for that one." Alex said, grinning at the werewolf.

"But you can't eat. What were you doing?" the vampire frowned confusedly.

"Sniffing. It's a long story." Hal shook his head and disappeared again, the sounds of crockery and running water making their way through the serving hatch. Alex settled into the sofa, but couldn't concentrate on the TV. It was strange not having Hal there commenting or griping about the programme. Strange, but not unwelcome. It was still early days, but with him up and about, and seemingly safe, she could finally start to concentrate on what her unfinished business might be. Not to mention the problem of the household funds. The boys would need to find new jobs soon or they wouldn't be able to afford the rent.

But at least Hal was back with them. That was the main thing.


	8. Step Seven: Remove Our Shortcomings

**************Disclaimer: I don't own Being Human or any of the characters from it, but they certainly own my heart (I know, cheese).**

So, here we are. Being Human has finished. I suppose it's not the end of the world. Or is it? ;-)

I can only apologise for not having updated this for a few weeks, but this has been a hard chapter to write, and I've been distracted writing for someone else, a most talented gentleman named spondoolix whose fanfics you should all read if you haven't already! But not right now obviously, read this one first :P

Thank you so much for all the follows, favourites and reviews, and for the moral support. I will hopefully be updating more regularly now that I'm not feeling quite so down in the dumps after this past week. Real life is almost certainly going to get a bit tough over the next few weeks, so you might get a slightly more jolly chapter because I don't know about you, but I'm going to need it.

But anyway, I'm rambling now. Enjoy and thanks for being patient! x

******Spoilers**: Series 4 and Series 5

**Step Seven: Remove Our Shortcomings**

Hal shut the bedroom door behind him and took a deep breath. The sudden calm was a far cry from the disastrous past few hours. Exhausted, he leant back against the door to collect himself, his eyes falling on his bedside table almost by accident. Almost, but not quite. His mind hadn't been far from the flask since Rook had passed it to him only the day before.

Before he knew what he was doing, he had opened the drawer and taken the flask from it, sliding the cover from the bottom of the vessel to expose the glass and the fluid within.

He stared at the blood as it sloshed around the flask, almost mesmerised by it. He flicked his wrist, idly tipping it upside down, watching the red fluid run tantalizingly down the glass. Quite what had been going through Rook's mind when he gave him this _gift_ was something Hal didn't think he'd ever understand. The man wanted him to take charge of the vampires, clearly having no idea of the true implications, but didn't he know who he was? He seemed equal parts informed and calamitously mistaken. Hal was indeed a human sympathiser, and in its simplest form, the plan was a good one. If, of course, you failed to take into account that drinking blood, however it was obtained, would turn him from sympathiser to devourer faster than Rook could comprehend.

How things could change in just a few short days. It had been less than a week since his release from the chair and already he had betrayed his friend's trust. The look on Tom's face when he had come through the front door had hurt far more than the punch that followed.

Things had started so well. Getting himself and the house back to a neat and tidy order had been the perfect first step. It had distracted him from his apprehension at being free, and brought him back to the routine of day-to-day life. Slipping on his marigolds had been just like coming home. He had pretended not to see Alex and Tom's amused stares as he tidied, dusted and disinfected practically everything in sight. Alex teased him about his masculinity being challenged, whilst Tom just watched him, happy to have his friend back again but still wary of trusting him on his own.

Two days later the house had been spotless, and Hal's confidence had grown. Which was fortunate, because as his friends eventually informed him, a stint of job seeking was on the cards. When Alex mentioned that she had seen a hotel on the seafront advertising for staff, his blood had run cold.

"The cafe was bad enough, but a hotel?"

"Don't be such a snob. Anyway, I think you'd make a great chamber maid. They'd have the cleanest rooms in Wales." The ghost smirked at him.

"Alex, this is not funny. And I didn't mean that, I meant that there will be guests, human guests, does that not strike you as pushing it a bit?"

"You managed in the cafe mate. We had people in there all the time and you never attacked them." Tom offered hopefully.

"Yes, but I hadn't had blood for fifty-seven years then. I'm... different now. My boundaries have changed."

"We need the money Hal. There's not many jobs you can just walk into that don't involve working with people. You're just going to have to deal with it." Alex shrugged dismissively.

"Deal with it." He repeated incredulously. "Deal with it! Are you really that naive?"

"You of all people don't get to call me naive after what I've seen in the past month!"

"Me of all... why do you keep saying that?" he scowled at her.

"We have fed you, watered you, fucking cleaned you, and been there for the you while you had the mother of all mental breakdowns," she snapped at him, standing up and banging her hands on the table top to lean over him in what he could only describe as an attempt at being dominant, "so I think it's high time you made an effort to at least try to overcome this, instead of whacking on your marigolds and being a dick to us at the first sign of a challenge. We're going to that hotel, and you're going to apply for a job, or... or else... or else I'm going to rip your shitting cleaning rota into tiny little bits and scatter them all over your room!" she finished finally, crossing her arms and glaring.

He stared at her in silence, stunned and just a little bit scared by her outburst. Tom rubbed a hand over his head and tried very hard not to look at either of them.

"Fine. If it makes you happy, I'll try." he muttered in concession.

"Good." She nodded, sitting back down with a smile. Hal shook his head in disbelief. He didn't think he would get used to her instantaneous mood swings. Not that he was really one to comment on those.

The trip to the hotel had been a great success, in terms of his blood lust at least. If it hadn't been for that and the fact that he and Tom had got the jobs they had applied for, he would have called it an unmitigated disaster.

Firstly, it wasn't so much a hotel and a complete and utter monstrosity and an eyesore. The decor was appalling, the cleanliness woeful and the guests, the tourist version of the living dead. The thought of working there day in day out was depressing at best, but he had promised Alex he would try, and she had been right, they did need the money.

If that hadn't been bad enough, there had been Rook. The odious, arrogant little man had tested Hal's patience and resolve further than he considered safe, but he had resisted temptation and declined Rook's offer. It had given him a renewed sense of hope, for all of five minutes.

Then Alex had blown her top at him. At least he had finally found out what she meant by "you of all people", though the discovery wasn't much of a silver lining. Evidently she hadn't got over his involvement in her death quite as much as he had thought.

"_You should have a fucking sign round your neck and a bell! You should be living in a cave!"_

He didn't argue back because he couldn't. He had nothing to say because she was right.

Her words still stinging, he had stormed out of the hotel to walk home, needing the time on his own to calm down and get his head together again. Peace, solitude and calm were what he required, but what he got couldn't have been further from it.

Ian.

What had he been thinking? Doing the right thing was one thing, keeping him alive, saving him even. But the more Hal thought about it, the more he accepted that what he had done was completely the opposite. Manifesting infront of him had been an accident, chasing him a well-meaning mistake, but recruiting him? That had been imbecilic misjudgement on a grand scale. He could barely control his own blood lust, let alone that of a new recruit.

He had tried to be kind to Ian, and had succeeded he thought. _This will not be a repeat of Cutler_ he had thought to himself, taking the time to explain what the man was now and what that meant in terms of his physiology and mentality. No one had told him there was hope of assimilation when he had been recruited, and he certainly hadn't indulged any of his recruits with that idea in the past. Maybe that was what had been missing. Get to them early, make them see that this affliction didn't need to be a death sentence to their former human lives. He had been proven spectacularly wrong.

A man had died because he couldn't keep his selfish version of mercy to himself. Two men, if you counted Ian as dead too.

Hal had been fully prepared to take his own life, in his mind at least. Of course, sitting in his room now in the quiet and the dark, he could be honest with himself. If he was really going to do it, wouldn't he have just got on with it? Knowing that Tom and Alex were standing right behind him, had it all been a bluff? Had he known, subconsciously, that they would intervene? Was that why he had wasted time explaining why he and Ian didn't deserve to live in this world any more? Hal really didn't know, but a niggling voice in the darkest, primal recesses of his brain kept repeating one word.

_Survival_.

He hadn't trusted himself for a very long time, and that was the reason why. There was a part of him that would do anything to survive, however morally reprehensible that was.

Rook had stepped in to save the day in the end, a God send as far as tidying up the evidence and sorting out the witnesses was concerned. But Hal had a feeling Rook wasn't the sort of man to forget a favour when one was owed, and he had already turned him down once. The threat of further involvement would hang over him, he was sure.

And now here he was, flask of blood in his hands a dangerous temptation to take away the stress and the guilt and the depression of inevitable failure.

His saving grace was Alex, tangentially. Still entranced by just the sight of the blood, he made his way absent-mindedly to the sofa on the other side of the room to sit down. As he did, something sharp dug into him, shaking him from his thoughts. He frowned and set the flask down on the arm of the chair to fish out the offending item from the back pocket of his jeans.

It was a crumpled piece of note paper. The same piece of paper that Alex had entrusted to him only a few days before when she and Tom had released him from the chair downstairs. He stared at it for a few minutes, then looked back to the flask, horrified at what he had been considering doing. He snatched it from the arm of the sofa and strode over to the table, thrusting the cover back on and flinging it back inside the drawer.

He sat back down and unfolded the paper, running his finger down the list until he reached Step Seven.

"_Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings_. Shortcomings, defects of character, wrongs. What about idiocy, narcissism and dishonesty?" Hal muttered to himself, voice thick with self-pity.

The Step might not be wholly useful, but it was spookily relevant after what Ian had said to him.

"_You took everything you hated and put it in one place. You need someone like me to be the bad man, so you don't have to."_

Hal had been shocked by the level of logic and thought that Ian had obviously put into this theory, having only known his maker for one day, but he couldn't agree with it. Not completely anyway.

Ian was right up to a point. Hal did need somewhere to put everything he hated most about himself. But Ian wasn't the outlet. He really had recruited him to save his life, even though that act of mercy had been more for his own benefit than for Ian's. The real outlet was the other version of himself. The monster he was most afraid of.

It was for this reason that Ian's parting shot had terrified him so much.

"_This is where you'll end up."_

Hal couldn't dwell on that thought. Ian was wrong. He would finish the Twelve Steps, distract himself with his quest for a human life, put his all into being there for Tom and Alex the way that they had been there for him. He would not roll over and let the monster back in, no matter how hard things got. And he would not drink the blood in that flask.

His behaviour in the last few days had been far from what he had hoped to achieve upon his release, but that was the past now. He had shown his true colours as an addict, lying to Tom and Alex repeatedly while he tried hopelessly to put things right on his own. He should have asked them for help. He wouldn't be making that mistake again. It was time to step up and be the man he wanted to be.


	9. Step Eight: All Persons We Had Harmed

**Disclaimer: Being Human belongs to the great (Lord) Toby Whithouse**

Sorry for the long wait again! Enjoy x

**********Spoilers**: Series 4 and Series 5

**Step Eight: All Persons We Had Harmed**

"Remind me not to let you talk me into d oing an early and a late shift back to b ack again. I'm cream crackered." Tom c om plained to Hal as they walked out of the hotel and in to the gloom of late ev eni ng.

"I'm sorry Tom, but we are short staffed at the moment, and you did seem willing ."

"I was, before I'd worked thirteen hours in a row."

"It gets worse I'm afraid. We've got to walk home, remember?" Hal shot Tom a sym pathetic smile.

"Ohhh! Bloody hell! My legs are gonna fa ll off Hal, I'm that bloody knackered. I f I don't make it, tell Alex she's bee n a great mate, and not to worry about g oi ng to Thorpe Park without me, she can ta ke you instead."

"Marvellous. Well in that case you most definitely have to make it home for my o wn sanity, let alone the fact that you p romised to take a look at the car for me tomorrow."

"I will. If I make it home tonight."

"I think you'll manage."

"It's alright for you, you can give your self all the easy jobs." Tom mumbled, s c uffing his feet on the pavement as the y walked slowly along the deserted prome na de towards home.

"Easy? Yes because being the manager is a walk in the park. I had to listen to M rs. Barnes prattle on about her grandch i ldren for a whole hour at lunch, clean t he scuff marks off all the east block sk irting boards after afternoon tea, a nd d o not even get me started on organi sing the staff. Yourself not included, o bviou sly." He added in answer to the of fended look Tom shot him.

"I still don't know why they made you ma nager anyway." The werewolf muttered.

"Thank you for the vote of confidence Th omas. And as I said the previous few hu n dred times you mentioned it today, I d on 't know either."

"Do you think Patsy'll come back? It's a bit weird her going missing all sudden like isn't it? You don't think we had an ything to do with it do you? She sounde d pretty upset in that message she left w hile we were in Scotland."

"I'm sure she'll be fine. She probably j ust needed a break is all." Hal sighed d isinterestedly.

"Yea, I suppose. It was probably the sig ht of me beating you in that food fight that tipped her over the edge." Tom smi r ked.

"I'm sorry, beating me? You did not _beat_ me, at best it was a draw." Hal stated indignantly.

"Whatever, we both know I won hands down ."

"It wasn't a fair fight in the first pla ce, you had the scones!"

They carried on through the deserted str eets towards home in silence, both too w eary to commit much to conversation af te r their disagreement over the outcome of the previous weeks food fight. A sha ft of light and the sound of raucous lau ght er spilt out onto the street ahead o f th em for a moment as the door to a pu b was thrust open, a lone young woman st agger ing out in a fit of giggles. She p aused briefly to steady herself before t otteri ng off down the street infront of them, still giggling to herself every n ow and then. Hal watched her with disdai n. _Clearly very drunk, walking alone late a t night, and hardly dressed for the wea t her, _he thought to himself absent-mindedly.

After a while, the girl stumbled against a gate and up a garden path, fumbling a set of keys from her bag and all but fa lling through her front door. Hal narro w ed his eyes as they passed and beside hi m, Tom sighed.

"Why do they let themselves get into tha t state eh?"

"Quite." Hal agreed, smiling slightly at his young friend's prudishness.

"All on her own in the dark, and she cou ld hardly stand. Anything could've happ e ned to her." Tom shook his head. Hal n od ded in agreement for a moment, before st opping dead, eyes wide. "Hal? What's wro ng?"

"I didn't think about it. She was helple ss, alone, inebriated, and it didn't ev e n cross my mind that she could be... a t arget." He breathed, looking back the wa y they had come in disbelief.

"Eh, well that's good isn't it mate?"

"Yes." Hal turned to smile at Tom, face lit up with happiness. "Yes it is. I rea lly am recovering."

When they reached home, Alex was slumped on the sofa, remote help limply aloft a s she flicked through the channels.

"Why is there never anything good on TV? " she complained, still staring at the t elevision while Hal and Tom shed their c oats by the front door.

"Hal's got some good news." Tom beamed p roudly, coming to sit on the sofa oppos i te and unfastening his tie awkwardly.

"Oh aye. And what's that then? Don't tel l me, you finally managed to triumph ag a inst those _troublesome cobwebs above the east-wing staircase_." She grinned, mocking his accent. To h er surprise he only smiled as he calmly came to sit beside her on the couch, ig n oring her teasing completely.

"I'm not sure I would necessarily class it specifically as _good_ news."

"Well yea, alright. Maybe it's _normal_ news then." Tom adjusted his earlier st atement, kicking off his shoes and layi n g back to take up the whole of his sof a.

"Spit it out then." Alex encouraged.

"We saw a girl on the way home who had h ad rather a few too many, if you get my drift, and it wasn't until Tom pointed o ut that she had been vulnerable that I r eally... thought about it." He falter ed, looking down at his hands in his lap . " It seems silly now, recounting it. B ut i t is a step forward, however terrib le th at is."

Alex understood what he meant. It was aw ful that not thinking about killing som e one in the street was an achievement f or him, but it was.

"That's brilliant Hal. I'm proud of you. " She smiled at him, placing a hand gen t ly over one of his to stop the unconsc io us finger tapping he had begun. She h ad first noticed him doing it while he w as in the chair, when the first bout of sho uting had stopped, though Tom had in form ed her that the only reason he hadn 't do ne it on their date at the museum was th at he had the box of matches to c ling to . He did it whenever he was nerv ous or u ncomfortable, as though he was a child w ho needed to occupy his hands to keep hi mself out of trouble. Except he wasn't a child, and the sort of troub le he could get himself into was hardly on the same scale as breaking an ornamen t by accide nt. _The devil makes light work for idle hand s _she thought, barely stopping herself fro m shivering. Knowing the monster that r e sided in him, that idiom was probably cl oser to the truth.

He stopped his fiddling and met her eyes with his own grateful smile, pleased th at she recognised the significance o achievement.

"Thank you Alex."

"We should do something. To celebrate I mean." Tom piped up, propping himself up against the arm of the sofa.

"What, now? I thought you were tired?" H al frowned.

"Nah, I've woken up now. Besides, we hav en't celebrated you deciding to stay he r e with us yet Alex, and we should give O liver some sort of send off. He liked pa rties."

"Well, I don't." Hal smiled curtly.

"Oh, don't be such an old man." Alex gri nned, hitting him round the head with a cushion.

"I _am_ an old man." He glared at her as she ra ised the cushion above her head again. H e snatched her wrist as she made to hi t him with it, but she rentaghosted behi nd the sofa and hit him with it anyway.

"Come on misery guts, it's not often we have something to celebrate. Besides, I told you last week, everybody enjoys a p arty, it's the fucking law." She smiled coming to lean on the back of the sofa o n her elbows, hugging the cushion clos e to her chest.

"Fine. But no party hats. And not too la te either, we've got to be up to prepar e for that talk by the ex-weatherman in t he conference room tomorrow."

* * *

"Hal..."

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"Please please please please pleeeeeease !"

"Alex, no! Stop whinging, I'm not playin g."

"But Cluedo is rubbish with two people. Come on Hal, it'll be fun!"

"A game about murder? Sounds positively convivial." The vampire said dryly.

"Alright, fine." Alex pouted, placing th e game back on the shelf. "I suppose Tw i ster's out of the question then?" she sm irked.

"Most definitely." Hal sighed. Tom hid a smile, secretly glad at his friend's la ck of enthusiasm at the idea. He wasn't sure his balance could be entirely trus t ed given the amount of beer he'd drunk a lready, and Alex would only cheat any way .

"You know what Twister is then?" she ask ed, flopping back down on the sofa besi d e Tom.

"Of course I do. I wasn't shut away from the world completely while I was living in Southend, we did have a television."

"Well pardon me for questioning your _down with the kids_ status granddad. Alright, so what _do_ you want to do? And if you suggest teac hing me etiquette, or the lute, or orig a mi again I'm going to go upstairs and ju mp on your bed."

Hal narrowed his eyes at her and opened his mouth to respond.

"Why don't we talk?" Tom asked before Ha l had a chance to speak, feeling it was past time to interfere in the argument b efore it escalated any further.

"Talk?" Alex asked, frowning at him conf usedly.

"Yea, talk."

"About..?" Hal ventured, cocking his hea d to the side slightly.

"Stuff. We've hardly had a chance since we got back from Scotland, and that was a whole week ago now."

"Well... I suppose it's better than Clue do." Hal shrugged.

"I guess. But, I'm not talking about _them_. You know, the men with sticks and rope s. It's a good job I don't need to slee p because I don't think I'd be able to a f ter that." Alex smiled, but Tom could se e how uneasy the memory of it still m ade her. He pulled her into a hug sudden ly, the alcohol dulling his sense of per son al space slightly, but she chuckled agai nst his shoulder, hugging him back good naturedly. The sound of rustling pa per c aught their attention and they bro ke apa rt, turning to look at Hal, and t he sour ce of the noise.

"Step eight." He said simply, unfolding the list Tom knew he carried with him no w. He had to admit, Alex had had a grea t idea when she'd come up with using the Twelve Steps to help Hal in his recover y . It seemed to have worked brilliantly , for the most part at least.

Tom noticed Alex smile slightly and mout h thank you at the vampire, and realise d that Hal was changing the subject for h er.

"You're still carrying on with them then ?" the ghost asked.

"Honestly, I haven't looked at the list for a while." He answered quietly, looki ng back down at the paper in his lap. " E verything's been going so well lately, I suppose I wanted to avoid it. The las t few steps haven't really been very use fu l, and reflecting on the past is... u nco mfortable."

"Perhaps it's 'cos you're doing them on your own? Maybe talking about it'll help ?" Tom offered, sitting forward.

"Well, we shall see." Hal raised his eye brows briefly and gestured to the list, his lips tugging into a lopsided smile. Tom had noticed the definite change in h is friend over the last two months. He h ad loosened up, not enough to join in wi th his and Alex's dancing or singing ear lier in the night, but the change w as st ill very noticeable. Hal didn't se em to need to try to be polite, his temp er did n't snap so easily, and he had ev en been less obsessive about cleaning. N ot that Hal was the only one to change.

They had all settled into life together well once the peace and relative quiet o f normal life set in. New jobs, bills, r ent, weekly food shops, and what Tom c ou ld only imagine was the usual, well m ean ing banter and chatter of three frie nds living together. Sometimes, when the y we re sat watching TV in the evenings, he c ould even forget for just a minute that they were supernatural at all. It all fe lt so comfortingly human. Probabl y. It w as hard to tell since he had alw ays been a werewolf, but he thought this might j ust be the life he had been sea rching fo r since he was small.

It was the happiest he thought the house had been since he'd moved in.

"Step Eight. Ah. Well this could take a while. _"Made a list of all persons we had harme d, and became willing to make amends to them all"_. I am more than willing to make amends to my victims, certainly. Well, perhaps not all, some of them deserved it..." Ha l glanced up at Tom and Alex, seeming t o anticipate their questioning frowns. " F ergus, to name one you'll remember and n o doubt agree with Tom."

"Your old vampire mate? Yea, he definite ly deserved it."

"Precisely. As for making a list... I'm deeply ashamed to admit that it would ta ke a very, very long time and a _lot_ of paper." Hal looked back down at his hands again.

"What if we just talked about a few? Not all of them, just a few. Or maybe you c ould think about the people you can hel p . People that are still alive, people yo u've hurt in some other way?" Alex of fer ed with a small smile.

"Bringing up the past is..."

"I know. But this is different. This is constructive." The ghost interjected. Ha l regarded her curiously for a moment, b efore nodding slightly.

"Alright. I don't know where to start... "

"What about... uh... Caroline? You menti oned her before. Something about luring her to your bed." Alex smiled, trying t o make light of the situation as far as w as possible. Of course, she meant well b ut Tom could see that Hal was bristli ng slightly at the personal nature of th e p roposed example.

"Carolyn." He corrected in a mutter. "An d yes, I did... seduce... her. It wa operated back then, I liked a chal le nge between the easy kills. Fergus an d I even had a little competition going at one point. Such a stupid reason to en d s omeone's life, all for the sake of w inni ng a few guineas." Hal shook his he ad at himself, eyes downcast in sadness, mind wandering far off.

"I flushed Ryan's homework down the loo once and he got detention because of it. Plus, it flooded the bathroom so Dad wa s really pissed. So I blamed it on Deck y ." Alex blurted out, again trying to l ig hten the mood. Tom and Hal sat in stu nne d silence for a moment before both b urst ing into laughter.

"Did it work?" Tom asked when he could s peak again.

"Nah, Dad knew it was me but he went eas y on me because he saw the funny side. H e was good like that." She smiled sadl y. Hal pursed his lips and looked at Tom b efore speaking again.

"I shouldn't have recruited Ian. You bot h know as well as I do that I did it fo r myself, not for him. I just thought th a t there had already been enough death re cently without him having to die beca use of me." Hal sighed.

"You didn't really kill him mate, it wer e the car that would have done that." T o m stated, hoping it would make the vam pi re feel better, though he agreed whol ehe artedly that Hal had made a huge mis take . Two months on, and he had still o nly j ust forgiven him for the discrepan cy, th ough he'd kept his thoughts on th e matte r to himself. Hal obviously didn 't need any more guilt on his conscience .

"Still, letting him die in the street wo uld have been kinder." Hal finished qui e tly, adding weight to the werewolf's i de a of just how hard it was for his fri end to stay good. Tom realised it was hi s t urn to cheer them all up.

"When we stopped outside Worcester for a while once, I used to tell McNair I was going out hunting for rabbits, but I ac tually just sat outside one of the loca l schools, all hidden in the bushes like , and watched the other children playing . " He smiled.

"That's... actually quite sad dude. How old were you?" Alex asked.

"I don't know, about ten probably. It we re alright, I was happy and everything, I was just curious. I didn't really hav e any friends growing up, but it was ok, 'cos I had McNair." A stab of grief sho t through him suddenly. It must have sho w n on his face, because Hal spoke up ag ai n.

"I knew a vampire who managed to live wi th her human sister for a few years, an d in a moment of drunken madness and whi l st feeling rather... libidinous, I... we ll, um... I recruited her sister beca use I wanted a... well you can guess the re st." Hal blushed and put his head in his hands. Alex fell off the sofa laugh ing, but Tom just frowned, not really ge ttin g the joke.

"Did... did you... did she actually, you know... pah! Did they go along with it? " the ghost managed between giggles.

"Unsurprisingly, no. They weren't entire ly onboard with the idea." Hal raised a n eyebrow at her amusedly as she clamber e d back onto the sofa.

"Jesus Hal, I had no idea you were such a dog."

Tom and Hal both frowned at her, but the werewolf suspected the reasons for thei r shared disapproval were different.

* * *

Two hours, many stories, much laughter, and more than a few tears later, Alex an d Tom found themselves slumped together on one of the sofas watching Casablanca on the TV, chuckling to themselves peri o dically at Hal's snores coming from th e other couch.

"Tonight was brilliant." Tom grinned at the ghost.

"The best." she answered with a contente d smile.

"I'm glad you decided to stay with us Al ex. I mean, I know you already know tha t , but I am really glad. And he is too, e ven if he wouldn't tell you himself." He nodded over at Hal. Alex looked at h im for a minute before kissing him light ly on the cheek.

"Thanks Tom. I'm lucky to have you both. "

"No problem." He said uncomfortably. Ale x laughed at him quietly and settled ba c k into watching the film.

"You'd better try and get some sleep. It 's already three in the morning and it' s a full moon tonight, you'll be wrecked tomorrow."

"Yes mum." He smiled cheekily, settling back amongst the cushions and closing hi s eyes.

It had been a strange evening, happy for so many reasons, yet still tinged with sadness. It had been nice though, to bon d with his two housemates in a way they hadn't been able to before. They all kn e w how each other felt, and the unspoke n grief and guilt between them, but it h ad been great to talk about it and get i t all out in the open. And it was a huge s tep forward for Hal that he had been ope n to the idea. Tom knew he must have str uggled, being such a private person , but he had made the effort, and that m eant a lot.

It did make him think though. Hal had be en through so much in his life; pain, b l oodshed, grief, despair, sorrow, and t ho ugh he had brought much of it on hims elf , Tom couldn't help but be impressed at how well he was dealing with it now. Imp ressed and ever so slightly jealous .

The growth he had seen in his friend in just the past few months had made Tom wo nder just how well he himself had adapt e d to "normal" life. Sure, he had a job , and a house, and friends, and he was h ap py. But was it enough? His world stil l r evolved around the wolf, and he felt sud denly stagnant. Was this the best h e cou ld hope for? A dead-end, low paid job an d a grotty B&B, while Hal and Ale x moved on with their personal pain and got on with their lives.

He fell into a fitful sleep full of drea ms plagued by his lack of self-belief, a nd awoke on the sofa in the morning wi th one thought. Could he ever really be su ccessful?


End file.
